


Project; Us

by TheGirlWhoDiedWolf



Category: My Chemical Romance, Panic! at the Disco
Genre: Angst and Feels, Basement Gerard Way, Daddy Kink, Gay, M/M, Masturbation, Punk Frank Iero
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-13
Updated: 2017-02-13
Packaged: 2018-09-24 02:24:21
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 27,447
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9695561
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheGirlWhoDiedWolf/pseuds/TheGirlWhoDiedWolf
Summary: Frank hasn't seen Gerard in years, not since he left to go and live with his Grandma after his mother died.Frank hated Gerard for leaving without saying goodbye and distancing himself over the years.All that hate returned tenfold as soon as Gerard came back and they are paired on an art project. Frank is a whirlwind of confused emotions; he doesn't know whether he wants to punch Gerard or fuck him.Maybe it's a little bit of both.





	1. Chapter 1

 

*************

**Ten years earlier:**

"Hey, Iron man. This stupid fight thing needs to stop. Spread love, not hate. Let's just have a tea party and be friends again." 

I pushed against the gate, my toes curled on the little wooden plank as I peered over the top of the fence into my neighbour's back garden.

He was _so cool._  He had the new avengers toys; the ones my mummy and daddy wouldn't get me for Christmas because, " _You were crying about wanting the game and a new PlayStation to play the game, Frank. Sorry, but we couldn't afford it on top of all that._ " I mocked the tone she had used, my lips down-turned in a sneer. What a bumface.

Anyway, you may be asking why i'm creeping on my neighbour right now. I was just mindin' my own business, making mud-pies in the garden to throw at my stupid big brother Ant because he's so lame, and I heard my neighbour say the word Avengers and I that's how I ended up here, peeping over the fence and watching with jealousy as he pushed Steve Roger's face against Tony Stark's like mummy and daddy did that one time I walked in on them in the kitchen. Face-battling, Ant called it.

"Ohh." The boy pushed them together, cheeks puffed out as he put on a silly, deep voice. "I love you so much, Iron man. _I love you too, Captain America._ " He stopped then, tossing Iron man to the ground and bringing up a- _no way_!

What the heckin' heck balls.

He had a _winter soldier action figure, too_! Whoa, his parents must be so rich!

" **Stop it, Iron man. You've kissed and made up now but Captain America is mine. We're getting married after the tea party. You can come if you want to but no more kissing. Only mummies and daddies can do that stuff.** " He picked the Iron man doll up and set it down on the picnic table in front of a miniature tea and saucer.

" _Oh, fine. I don't love you Captain America_." He murmured, gesturing with the Iron man doll. And then-

Oh heck this.

"HULK SMASK." He pulled out a hulk action figure and sat it on the table next to the iron man action figure before wrapping its arm as best he could around Iron man.

"I love Hulk. We're getting married too, what a co-incky-dink." I held back a gasp behind my hand, my eyes wide and totally engrossed. What a plot twist! 

"Oh cool. Now drink your tea everyone, I have an appointment with... _Dr Xavier_! Dun, dun, duuuun." He pulled out a professor X action figure and that was when I almost lost it, totally and completely.

I squealed, so loud that he turned to face me, his eyes wide and startled. I had to grip onto the fence because I was about ten seconds from falling onto my butt on the soil underneath me.

He screamed, at the same time I did, when his eyes locked on mine. He clutched his toys to his chest and I waved my hands over the fence, hooking them around the top to hold me in place. "Shh! Carry on! It was getting so juicy." I squealed excitedly and he closed his lips, eyes blinking at me.

"Huh?" He murmured, chest heaving as he tried to control his breathing.

"I can't believe you have all those action figures! It's just so _cool_. C-can I... can I play with you? Please?" I suddenly felt really shy about asking, my cheeks burning as I looked at him through my lashes, mustering the brightest and nicest smile I could. I wanted to get my hands on those action figures.

The boy's cheeks turned red and he dropped his eyes to the table, clutching his toys protectively as he shook his head and puffed out his cheeks. "Y-you can't play with me." He murmured, his voice stuttering and quiet.

I pouted, my eyes watering instantly. "Wha- _why_?" My eyes were big, I was doing that puppy-dog face that always worked on daddy whenever I wanted something. It was how I got my new PlayStation.

The boy blinked up at me, eyes narrowed suspiciously. "W-why do you wanna play with me? Nobody plays with me." He spoke, quietly, then raised his chin and spoke more firmly. "You just want to steal my toys." He accused and I frowned at him, my mouth wide open.

"N-no way! I just wanna play. It's no fun playing on your own, anyway. And if I _did_  steal your toys then I wouldn't play with my brother. He's _lame_. He says all my comics are _gay_. I hate him." I murmured, arms crossed against the fence now, chin resting on my forearms.

The boy's eyes lit up and he dropped his toys onto the table. "Y-you have comics? Oh my _God._ Awesome!" He smiled brightly as he started walking towards me excitedly.

"I have a lame brother, too. Mikey doesn't like playing with me. He's always sitting in his room and painting his nails and dressing up in tiaras and pink tutus and playing with his lame dolls." He muttered and I giggled at him.

"That _is_  lame. If I was your brother, I would play with you all the time." I grinned at him, hopeful.

He seemed to think about it, hands on his hips, before he sighed deeply as though it was such a huge decision.

"Let's make a deal. You let me read your comics and you can come over and play with me whenever you want." He tried a smile himself and I couldn't help the massive grin that overcame my face and I had to refrain from punching my fist in the air.

"Deal!" I reached out with my hand. "I'm Frank. Everyone calls me Frankie. You can call me Frank, though."

The boy looked slightly confused as he reached up and shook my hand. "I'm Gerard. Everyone calls me Gee, I guess. You can call me whatever you want." He smiled at me sweetly, cheeks tinged pink before he removed his hand and looked to the floor, hands clasped behind his back and knees all knobbly, toes scuffing into the soil.

"Okay, _Gee_." I giggled before turning to face the open patio door. "MAMA! I'M GOING NEXT DOOR TO PLAY WITH MY NEW FRIEND, GEE!" I screamed and Gerard threw his hands over his ears and scrunched his nose up, taken aback by my loudness. Whoopsie.

"STOP YELLING. AND OKAY, BUT DON'T BE LATE FOR DINNER." She screamed back and before Gerard knew what was happening, I had hauled my legs over the fence and dropped into his garden. I felt like spider-man, the way I landed. I stood up, a smug smile on my face as Gerard watched me with awe. I dusted off my collar and held my chin up as I walked past him and sat in one of the fold-up chairs. 

Gerard took a moment before joining me, hands wringing together in front of him as he looked to the ground all shyly. "S-so..." He gulped. "So, we're _friends_?" He squeaked. I smiled up at him, eyes bright as I slowly inched my hand towards the Captain America action figure.

"Yep. You got a problem with that?" I raised my brows and Gerard shook his head, eyes wide and hands suddenly waving in front of his face.

"N-no! I just..." He dropped his hands, clasping them behind his back again and his face turned beet red. "I've never had any friends before. It's just me and Mikes."

I blinked at him, my head cocked thoughtfully. "Really? But you have so many toys! Why wouldn't anybody wanna play with you?"

"Because i'm weird. That's what everybody says." He murmured, lips down-turned and eyes all sad and I felt really bad for him. 

"Oh." I was sad now. 

He nodded. "Yeah."

I sucked in a deep breath, chest all puffed out as I gripped his arm and tugged him toward me. He blinked at me and I looked determinedly into his eyes. "Well, _I_ think you're cool. Everyone else can go die in a ditch. I'm your friend now and if anyone says anything nasty ever again, i'm going to punch them in the face and tell tell them to... To _eat shit_." I whispered the last bit and leaned into Gerard, ensuring to look around to make sure nobody was watching because I wasn't allowed to say bad words. Only adults said bad words. I couldn't wait until I was an adult so I could say bad words all the time. I'd wake up with a _fuck you_  and i'd poop with a _motherfucker_  and i'd eat with a _Goddamn sonuvabitch_. I'd be so rich... with like _one hundred dollars_  and I could buy all the action figures I ever wanted. I wouldn't ever get married though because girls are _disgusting_. 

Gerard gasped at that, hand slapped over his mouth and I smirked smugly at him. "You said a bad word!" He bit his lip and then we stared at each other for a while, until we both caved and fell into a fit of giggles.

"... _Shit_." Gerard repeated before slapping a hand over his mouth as though he couldn't believe he'd just done that. We giggled hysterically as we said bad words back and forth in quiet. I wish I didn't have to say bad words in hiding. I wish I could scream it at the top of my lungs; f _ucking motherfucker dick twatt whore muncher bitch fuck._

Yep, adult life looked so fun and I couldn't wait to grow up.  

*

**Ten Years Later:**

"I wish I was a fucking kid again." I leaned against the wall, leg propped behind me against the brick as I sucked in a drag from my cigarette.

"Like, where the fuck has the time gone. Ya know? It's like... Fuck being an adult, man. I'm almost eighteen. And I don't even have a fucking job." I grumbled, flicking cigarette ash onto the ground angrily.

Brendon nodded in agreement. "I get it, man. Being a kid, you don't have to worry about the future and you can mooch off your parents without judgement. I don't even know what I wanna do with my life anymore." He murmured and I sighed deeply as I took another drag.

I scuffed my trainer against the ground, kicking at discarded, used cigarettes before pressing my foot over one and scuffing it into the ground.

"Yeah. I miss being a kid. I wish I could just turn back the clocks and re-do shit over again, you know? Like, i'd know that music is what I wanna do with my life right then, and i'd work damn hard at it. I'd practice guitar until my fingers bled." I murmured as I blew smoke from the corner of my mouth, the smoke hitting Brendon smack in the face.

Brendon scrunched his nose up at me. "I don't understand why you smoke. It's gonna kill you some day." He says as he takes a drag from his roll up.

Jesus Christ, the double standards.

I raise my brow at him, lips pruned to the side in a 'bitch what' sort of way.

Brendon blinks at me confused for a moment as he blows smoke from between his own lips. He finally gets it then rolls his eyes. "It's weed, dude. Don't even go there, Frank. It's not _even_ the same. Besides, it helps calm all my nervous energy so fuck off. All cigarettes do is stain your lungs and make you old and ugly." Brendon stated matter-of-factly and I narrowed my eyes at him.

I turned my face, for some reason, right at that moment. I don't know how but it was as though my body just _knew._ Right as I took another drag of my cigarette. Right at the exact moment _he_  walked past. And all I could do was stand completely still as everything seemed to move in slow motion, my fingers poised over the cigarette that was held just away from my mouth, smoke blowing from the corner of my lips and disappearing into thin air.

He's looking at me. Right fucking at me. He hasn't done that since the day he came back precisely four months and seven days ago. The day he fucking pulled my heart out of my chest and stomped all over it again. He didn't even say hello. He didn't even fucking smile at me. He just gave me a look and then it was over and he retreated into some weird hermit-like state. His hood was always pulled up over his face and he was always hunched over a desk like a tortoise, doodling or writing or fuck knew what in his little notebook.

He looked so different, too. Since I last saw him. Two years, it's been. Two fucking years and not a single word. We were fucking inseparable since that first day we met when we were kids. Then his ma had that whole thing with her cervical cancer. He used to confide in me. I was his shoulder to cry on. We were best buds. 

I loved him.

Then he left me. 

His ma died and he left me all alone.

He went to live with his grandma back in New Jersey and he never even said goodbye.

He kissed me. He kissed me and that was the last thing I remembered.

And then he was gone, before we'd even had a chance to start.

And every-fucking-time I saw him, he always knocked the air right out of my lungs. My heart always beat that little bit harder. My knees always trembled like they would hit the ground if he got too close.

And he hadn't said a word. And it had been four months and seven days and _fuck_ why did he make me feel like this?

I hated him.

I fucking hated him so much.

I got it; his ma died. He had a right to grieve her death. He wanted space, I gave it him.

But for months, _no_  over a _year_  after he left, I went through it in my mind. Over and over and over again. Why did he kiss me and then leave me? How could he break me like that? Did he know how much I loved him?

I was sure I was over it and then he came back.

Four months and seven days ago. His hair was grown out; dyed all black. It used to be brown. He was always too scared to mess with it, but he kept it cut short, out of his face.

And now the long strands were always in his eyes, obscuring them from the world around him. He always looked so angry. Angry or sad or bored. Or tired. I don't think i've seen him smile. Not since he left me.

I hated him so much.

He was still looking at me.

He-he was smiling.

Why was he smiling?

He was looking right at me for the first time since we saw each other again and I could have _swore_  I saw his lips twitch and he _smiled_.

I braced myself against the wall as I blinked at him, lips parted in bewilderment and my heart beating harder than it ever had before. My hands were clammy as I watched his face fall as he watched me just staring at him like an idiot and then that frown returned. That tiny frown that always seemed etched into his forehead. He hunched his shoulders up and carried on walking away quickly and it took me a moment to snap out of it, to even register that Brendon was calling my name.

"Erh, dude. You okay? Bell's gone; we gotta get to class or Turner's gonna lose his shit."

"Huh?" I mumbled stupidly. Fuck, i'd lost my cigarette somehow and I hadn't even finished it. I frowned, eyes dropped to the floor as I watched my burnt out cigarette lying there. I kicked at it in annoyance before scuffing it beneath my shoe with a grunt.

"You look like you've seen a ghost or some sh- oh." Brendon murmured as he turned to look in the direction that I was subconsciously looking in, like my eyes were just magnetised in the direction of Gerard Way. I watched as he pushed through the doors into the block where we had our next lesson. He was in my class. This was all just perfect.

" _Oh_." Brendon smirked at me and I scrunched my nose at him as I sprayed myself with deodorant so I wouldn't stink up the whole classroom.

"Fuck off." I grumbled and Brendon giggled at me, all giddy from his current high.

He poked my shoulder with his finger. "You're blushing, Frankie. You're all red and flustered." He wiggled his brows and in a fit of exasperation, I aimed the deodorant bottle right at the middle of his black shirt and sprayed an inordinate amount of spray, making sure to leave a huge, white stain.

I smiled smugly when he yelped and pulled at his shirt, eyes wide. "What the fuck, dude? Not cool." He muttered, lips down-turned as he vigorously rubbed at the stain.

It was my turn to giggle now. I replaced the bottle back into my backpack and slung it over my shoulder smugly. "We're gonna be late for class, B." I grinned as I walked away and he ran to catch up with me, gripping my shoulder. 

"If anyone asks about this, i'm going to tell them the truth; _you_ did it. I'll let them imagine just exactly how Frank gave me a suspicious white stain on my shirt." He grinned cheekily as he zipped up his hoodie to cover it up and slung an arm around my shoulder.

I rolled my eyes at him. "You know what, you're such a slut that i'm sure anyone who saw it would _actually_ take it the wrong way." I murmured.

"Hey, i'm not a _slut,_  alright? I'm just a little... sexually inclined is all." He retorted and I snorted at him. 

"Same thing, B. Same thing."

We settled into class, Mr Turner late _once again_ , but no surprise there. As soon as I stepped inside the classroom, my eyes were automatically searching. It wasn't as though I  _wanted_  to do it. Like I said, it's like my body is like just drawn to him and... God he looks so alone. I wish I could just go up to him and wrap my arms around him, let his face fall into the crook of my neck as I rocked him back and forth; just like the old days.

It's like he knew I was staring, I couldn't fucking help it. I couldn't help it that he was so fucking pretty and that nobody else ever noticed that fact. Like, how the hell were people not falling at his feet? I didn't understand it. I didn't understand how he hadn't made a single friend... But then again, he was always terrible at that. He was one of those people that waited for others to come to him; he never _ever_ made the first move.

He snapped his eyes up and it happened again. Except this time nothing was in slow motion. Especially not my fucking heart which was rattling my ribs with the intensity of its contractions, palpitating in my eardrums. I shivered at his dark gaze.

This wasn't the Gerard I knew.

The Gerard I knew was always smiling. He was always so happy. His eyes were soft and welcoming and filled with so much brightness.

This Gerard's eyes were dark, obscured by shadows, ringed with black. They were... _intimidating_. I couldn't lie... he looked kind of scary. Like he was warning me to stay away, just with that one little gaze, although I didn't know why. I was kind of scared to even go up and say hello.

I was scared to ask him _why_. It was all I wanted. I just wanted to know _why_.

But ultimately, for all my big talk, I was a coward.

He didn't turn away, not for a moment longer. Not until the look sent a shudder down my spine, making goose-bumps rise all up my exposed arms and a cold sweat trickle down my spine.

I watched as his eyes narrowed at the fact that Brendon had his arm around me, pressed up so close to my side and for some reason, I felt the urge to press myself closer to Brendon. I don't know why, but I felt like he didn't like how close we were.

 _Tough, bitch_. 

I sucked in a breath and did exactly that. He had no fucking right to be annoyed about this, Not one bit. We weren't even friends anymore. He could suck my ass for all I cared.

I was suddenly really annoyed and felt the urge to prove that I was over him. That I didn't care what he thought anymore.

I forced myself not to break eye contact first. I forced myself to look into his eyes, no matter how hard it made my heart beat, how wobbly my knees felt or how tingly my spine was. I sucked it up and I felt as though my lungs were going to collapse from how hard I was holding in my breath and then I felt lips against my cheek.

A kiss.

Brendon.

And that was when it finally broke. He turned away, blinking, before dropping his dark gaze onto his desk, fingers wringing together in front of him.

I finally let out my breath and turned to face Brendon who was grinning cheekily at me. I blinked at him, shocked and he shrugged at me before winking.

"I couldn't help it; he was looking right here and he looked so jealous and it was just so tempting to tease him." He giggled. 

I pushed Brendon away, grumbling as I settled into my seat off to the side of the class, far from Gerard who was hunched over in the back corner.

"You're an ass." I muttered, but honestly, I wasn't even annoyed with him. If Gerard was _really_  jealous (which he had no right to be, let me remind you) then he could eat shit.

I held back a smirk when I noticed Gerard glancing our way again, trying to be all discreet. 

"Hah, _gaaay_." Pete mocked us as Brendon settled into the seat beside him, me on the end of the table. 

"You'd totally be on this dick if you weren't so hung up on chasing pussy all day every day." Brendon smoothed his hands over his chest, his voice purposefully lisped and high pitched as he spoke, all exuberantly flamboyant and shit.

Pete shook his head defiantly. "Even if I was gay, i'd have standards, B. Face it, you're a slut. You can't keep your legs closed for even a day." Pete sighed, and we shared a look.

Brendon fell back against his seat, arms crossed over his chest. "What's with all the slut shaming today? You guys are meant to be my friends. You know what, fuck you all." He grumbled, brows furrowed and lips all pouty like a scorned little child.

I slapped a hand against his shoulder. "Ah, come on now, B. We were just teasing." I giggled, leaning in and pressing a kiss to his cheek. "You're not a slut. You're just _sexually inclined_." I winked at him and he couldn't hold back the grin on his face.

"Fuck off." He murmured, though he was still smiling.

"Alright, settle down!" Mr Turner walked into class, completely relaxed with a coffee in hand as he set some papers down onto his desk. 

Everyone's conversations started dying down as he settled his mug onto his desk and turned to face everyone. "I hope you all had a lovely break, yada yada, let's back back to work. Your next assignments-" He started and everyone groaned in unison, cutting him off.

"Alright, alright, you don't come here to piss around." He was one of those teachers that didn't care about swearing in front of his students. "Work time. Fun."

And then I sort of zoned out. I usually zone out in lessons. Especially during _his_  lessons. His lessons were kind of boring, especially when he droned on instead of letting us get into the art. I loved art class.

But I wasn't so good with cameras. I tuned back in enough to know he was going on about some new project that involved cameras and taking pictures and that we had to use the skills we'd been learning before our Easter break.

Rule of thirds or some shit like that. It was the only thing I remembered, for some reason.

"For this next project, you'll need to pair up with someone. Then i'll assign you all your themes."

Brendon instantly latched his arms around mine and Pete's, pulling us close to him. Mr Turner looked in our direction almost immediately and narrowed his eyes, before walking up to us.

"No..." He started before removing the arm that was attached around me. "I understand you boys have your little _threesome_  thing going, but leave that for personal time. I said pairs." He teased and my eyes went wide as I panicked, my eyes darting around the room before darting them between the boys and Turner.

"But, like, sir... Frank doesn't do so well working with other people. He has this thing about-"

Brendon was cut off. "I don't want to hear it. There's a specific reason I need everyone in pairs; there's fourteen of you in this class. Pick someone, Iero." He spoke firmly and Brendon and Pete shrugged at me sheepishly. I groaned in annoyance as I turned to the class.

Everyone was already getting up and moving towards each other and I didn't even talk to the people in my class all that much and -

Oh no.

Oh fuck fuck.

Fuck.

I'd taken too long. Everyone was already paired now and there was just one person left, hiding in the back of the classroom inside his hoodie.

Fuck that.

I turned back to Mr Turner, eyes wide and I could see Brendon and Pete holding back sniggers beside me. I kicked Brendon under the table and he stopped immediately.

" _Please_  I can't... I-"

"No excuses, Frank. There's only one other person in this class. Go sit with Gerard." He sounded bored now and he had that stubborn tone that I knew was going to be impossible to argue with.

Fucking fuck.

Fuck my life.

Brendon nudged my foot under the table and I turned to glare at him when he made a kissy face in my direction before winking at me and blowing me a kiss. "Have fun, babe." He giggled and I kicked him under the table, hard, before quickly jumping up and grabbing my bag, holding back a giggle when I heard him wince and grab his shin, rubbing at it vigorously.

Turner was back at the front of the class, watching me make my way dejectedly towards Gerard. He was sat scarily still in his seat and I sucked in a sharp breath, my legs threatening to give out as soon as I got within a couple feet of his personal space.

My head was screaming at me to say something. Just say hi. make an awkward joke. Say something. Break the fucking ice.

Nothing came out. I had that horrible feeling where words were on the tip of my tongue but I had already settled myself down in the seat beside him and it was far too late to say anything now. 

So I sat, holding my breath and counting in my head, trying to distract myself from the fact that he was right there and eventually, we would have to say _something_ because we couldn't exactly do a project for class without speaking a word to each other.

Or maybe we could. Just like text each other. That'd be easier.

I chanced a glance at him from the corner of my eye and as blinked my eyes back to Turner, my cheeks flushing when I realised he was doing the same; watching me quietly from beside me.

Awkward.

"So, the reason I wanted you all in pairs is because there are fourteen of you in this class. That makes seven groups. The theme for this project is the seven deadly sins. I will assign you all your sins, as it were, and your projects will centre around it. I want you to use art to make stories. Like a comic strip, except without words. Your images must collate together to create an unspoken image of your sin. Remember; try not to be too obvious. Subtlety is key here. And remember the techniques I taught you. Use them to your advantage. If you need reminders, i've put the PowerPoint up online for you to access on the student website." He smiled brightly, hands clasped together. "Any questions before we start?"

It was quiet in the classroom and he looked over everyone's blank faces. "Alright... Erh... Melanie and Claire; you're pride." He turned to the board, marker clasped in his hand as he wrote names and assigned themes to each pair.

I sat with my fingers clasped tightly in my lap as Gerard blinked down at the desk.

Come on, dude. Fucking say something.

"Pete and Brendon. Sloth."

Oh God he's leaning towards me, i-is he going to say something? Oh fuck, i'm freaking out, Frank _breathe_... 

"Donald and Hillary, you got greed."

"Gerard and Frank..." I instantly turned my attention to Turner and he smirked at us.

I swear to fucking shit if he says-

"Lust."

Of. Fucking. Course.

Fuck my life.

I stiffened up in my seat, breath hitched and I chanced a look at Gerard and he was smirking. He was trying hard to hold it back but it was fucking unmistakable.  _I swear to God..._

I zoned out as he carried on assigning to the rest of the class.

"Predictable." Hot breath was on my ear and my eyes widened as I turned my face towards the culprit, startled as all fuck. I could only stare at him, wide eyed, my heart hammering wildly against my ribs. His smirk fell and he quickly pulled back.

And that was the only thing he said to me all lesson. No _hello_  or  _how ya been Frankie?_  

And I was shook. That was the only way to describe it. 

All I could feel was the heat of his body right next to me. That ever-present frown right back in place. He looked so normal about this and I could barely breathe. _Fuck_.   _Fuck you, Gerard Way._

And what the fuck did he mean, ' _predictable_ '? I was about to ask him, too, having finally mustered myself up to say _something_  to him but as soon as my lips parted, the bell rang signalling the end of lesson.

Of course. Of. Fucking. Course.

Gerard didn't even so much as give me a farewell. He just stuffed his belongings into his backpack, slung it over his shoulder then up and left.

Just like that.

He was out the door and I was still sat in my seat, unable to move or speak.

What the-

I felt something whack against my head lightly and I was pulled out of my daze.

"What?" I gasped at Brendon, rubbing at my head.

"You look like such an idiot. Get up." Pete rolled his eyes and Brendon was giggling uncontrollably, brows wiggling.

"Frankie and Gerard, sitting in a tree, k-I-"

This time Pete smacked Brendon against his arm. "Shut up, idiot number two." Brendon furrowed his brows at Pete before sticking his tongue out at him. "You're such a child, Bren." Pete shook his head, embarrassed.

"Who wants to grow up, anyway?" Brendon muttered as I stood and hooked my backpack around my shoulders before following them out toward my last lesson of the day.

And as I walked the hallway, I realised that yes, Gerard had said nothing to me but moreover, how was I to contact him about the project?

What an ass. Did he even give a fuck about it? Were we going to put aside our differences and take this seriously? It was just art class, after all. But Gerard was always so into his art.

He definitely had something planned, I could tell, but just what was it exactly?

*

 _Predictable_. 

What the fuck had he meant by that, though?

I trudged down the school hallway unable to shake him off my thoughts.

I hated him so much.

I _did_.

So why couldn't I get him out of my mind?

I could still feel his hot breath against my ear, tickling my hair and making my skin tingle. His eyes, so dark and that smirk; the closest to a smile he'd ever gotten. That Machiavellian glint in his eye.

I hadn't seen that since we were kids. Except this time, there was something more to it. Something else.

I needed another smoke. Fuck this, I thought, as I noticed Brendon by his locker, waiting to go home. I couldn't deal with him just yet. I needed a smoke before I got home so my ma wouldn't hound me about smoking in the house or some shit. Not that I listened to her, but my dad would be home early today and I didn't have the capacity to deal with all that without nicotine in my system.

I made a quick detour towards the smoking shelter around the back of school, quickly pushing through crowds of eager students rushing to get home.

I felt my phone buzz in my pocket. Must've been Brendon. I ignored it as I rounded the corner and leaned myself against the wall, catching my breath. I closed my eyes, head falling back against the brick wall as I dropped my backpack to the ground beside me.

Suddenly, I felt a heat consume me. I didn't know how or why but it was like my body just _knew_  and instantly I drew into myself, completely on guard, as I flitted my eyes open and looked up at Gerard through my lashes.

 _He was so close_.

I could feel something.

The way he was looking at me.

I don't know. He just- he looked fucking intimidating yet so _fucking attractive_  all at once and it was overwhelming my senses to be so _close_  to him like this.

I could only feel my body shrinking into itself, feeling so tiny trapped between his looming figure and the wall behind me.

He didn't speak for a while. It was kinda creepy. He just stared at me with his eyes ever-so-slightly narrowed and his lips twitched up into a smirk and his head cocked, hinting at slight amusement or curiosity. I couldn't really tell. Maybe a mixture of both.

"What do you want?" I finally spoke. The first words i'd said to him in _so long_  and my voice sounded so unused. How fitting.

Although it had come out softer than intended, if only for the reason that my breathing had become laboured with his proximity.

I could barely think, let alone think _straight_.

 _Imagine what my body would do if he kissed me again_.

Why that image came to mind, I had no idea. I hated him. Why the fuck would I want to kiss him?

My brain was clearly confused.

He was confusing me.

Gerard said nothing, still. He didn't even answer my question. Instead, he stalked towards me, closing the small gap that was between us until he was mere inches from my body, not touching but close enough for me to feel trapped and somewhat suffocated from the heat he was giving off.

I could only tilt my head up to match his gaze now, looking at him through my lashes, still. I blinked, trying to clear my vision so my eyes could adjust to how close his face was to me.

He was moving still, so close now. Closer. And for some reason, my stupid body didn't even protest this or question it. Like it was totally natural to want to be so close to someone I didn't even care for. Someone I couldn't care _less_  for.

His face was inching towards mine and on instinct, my eyes closed, lips parted so slightly, ready and so willing. _Fuck,_ _how would it feel to kiss him, though?_

My head inched towards him, hands pressed against my sides. I didn't move my body an inch. I didn't dare. I waited for his lips to meet mine.

But it never came.

I could feel that he was still there, still so close but now- now his hand was on me.

Not his lips- his hand.

Pressing into my pocket oh- _oh God_.

I couldn't even move because my entire body was burning with heat, completely flustered and I almost moaned out loud at the way it felt to have his fingers brush along my thigh as he pulled his hand out of my pocket.

But why weren't we kissing?

I opened my eyes with a flash as I felt the heat disappear. He had put distance between us and I blinked dumbly at the lighter he had, tapping against his chin in thought as he cocked his head at me further, lips pulled up into a grin now.

"I just wanted to borrow a light. Thanks, Frankie." His voice was full of humour, his brow quirked as to say, 'what did you think was going to happen, idiot?'

And I was hit with a wave of mortification because I was such a fucking slut.

He even so much as stands close to me and i'm submitting to his fucking will, all but opening my legs for him. _God, where the fuck was my integrity?_  I'd chalk that down to Brendon's influence.

"Y-you ask for things like that. You don't- you can't just _take it_." I muttered, surprised I was even able to talk with how he'd set me reeling so far.

"Of course. May I borrow your light, Frank? Though, I suppose it's null to ask now, seeing as I already have it in my possession." Gerard smiled sweetly as he tapped the lighter between his fingers and lit the cigarette he had sticking out of the corner of his mouth- when did _that_ get there?

I ground my teeth together, hands fisted at my sides. "You're a- fucking... You-"

"What? Spit it out." Gerard murmured, almost bored as he breathed smoke out through the corner of his mouth.

"Fuck you." I spat, angry, and crossed my arms over my chest.

"With pleasure." Gerard retorted and I was pretty sure my body was on fire right now. Like the human torch from _The Fantastic Four_. If it got any hotter, i'd be fucking flying.

"No-I..." I sucked in a deep breath. "You _don't_  get to come here and- and say- and _predictable_?" I rambled, unsure of what even I had originally intended to say, everything just coming out in a terrible jumble. I had pondered what the fuck i'd say to him once I got a hold of him and now he was here, everything was just a big mess because I had no fucking idea where to even _begin_.

Gerard looked wholly amused now. And it fuelled the anger inside me. I was like a spitfire now, pushing up on my toes as I went to stand right in front of him, finger jabbing into his chest. "Fuck you. _Fuck. You._ " That was all my brain was pulling together enough for me to say.

And then his hand was wrapped around my wrist so quick and firm. His fingers pressed into the skin strong enough to leave red marks where our skins met.

"It was all _too_  predictable, dear Frank. You know why?" Gerard murmured and I forgot how breathing worked for a moment because Gerard's face was so close to mine, the tips of our noses barely touching.

I gulped, eyes unblinking and wide.

He didn't wait for a response from me to continue. "Because..." He trailed off as he inched ever closer if just so that our noses brushed against one another and that was enough to have my knees trembling beneath me. Fuck, I hated me so much right now.

"I had it all pre-ordained. Right here." He lifted his free hand up to tap it against his temple, cigarette poised between his middle and index fingers. "I knew exactly how this would play out. I knew if I imagined it enough, it'd materialise into existence. Law of attraction, Frank. Do you know what that is?"

I nodded, unable to speak again. I wanted to spit in his face, 'of course I fucking know' but all that came out was a pathetic shudder of breath.

"Mm... And do you know what else i've been thinking about, Frank?" My eyes blinked uncontrollably, breath hitching on its way out. 

How the fuck did he have the right?

Where the fuck did he get the right to be so confident, his voice so fucking level and smooth as he talked, when last I knew him he was just about as awkward as me? How was it fair when I was a trembling mess below him, my body so close to just collapsing into a jumbled heap on the ground.

How was he able to still have this fucking effect on me?

I sucked in a sharp breath, my body tingling when he brushed his fingers over my thigh. I went to pull my wrist out of his grip but he held on tight, tugging me closer to his body so now we were chest-to-chest.

I could only stare dumbfounded at his lips as I felt his fingers press into my pocket once again. He completely disregarded what he had just said as he tapped his hand against my pocket once he'd pulled them out. "I'm glad I bumped into you, Frank. Take care. And thanks for the light." I could smell the smoke coming off his breath and he made no move to let go of me, not before he sucked in a drag and proceeded to blow the smoke out into my face, lips pouted and so close to my own, so close that if I just so much as dared to speak then our lips would likely touch.

I squeezed my eyes shut as the smoke drifted into them, making my tear ducts overflow. He removed himself from me, I felt it all too painfully evidently when our skin was no longer in contact and his lips were no longer in in make-out-territory-closeness.

My eyes remained shut and I pulled my hands up to rub at them before blinking them open to adjust to the light of day. As soon as I did that, he was gone. Disappeared, quite literally, in a cloud of smoke and the blink of an eye.

It took me a moment to gather whether what had just happened, had _actually happened and wasn't some_ hallucination or eerily realistic day-dream. I could still feel his body pressed up against mine, his hand against my wrist. I pulled my own hand up to trace my fingers over where our skin had touched, the skin pulsating and tingling as I smoothed my fingers over it, over the faint red marks he had left that were disappearing all too quickly now.

What the fuck was I doing?

I realised as I fell back into reality, hearing people walking to and fro, on their way home. My entire body was flushed with heat and mortification and a little bit of anger and... _Fuck_  I would be lying if I said I wasn't even a little bit turned on right now but i'm pretty sure that was down to the pure frustration I felt toward Gerard. It was manifesting itself in a way where  I wouldn't have to use my fists to get rid of this anger. Well, not in the  _violent_  sense of the phrase, anyway.

I had already made my way back to Brendon in a rush, Pete having joined him now and only when I was already halfway home and zoned out in my own head, analysing and re-analysing the entire situation with Gerard as the boys bantered and bickered beside me, did I realise i'd forgotten to have that smoke i'd promised myself.

*

I hadn't seen Gerard for a couple days. Maybe he was off sick, or something.

Either way, I guess we'd find out once I got into class.

Nope- he was _definitely_  avoiding me, because there he was sat in his seat at the back of class, looking all fucking smug as soon as he saw me enter the room.

Fucking ass.

I started following Pete and Brendon to our usual place when Brendon gripped my shoulder and started pushing me back.

"Ah, ah, ah." He scolded, brows raised and lips pulled into a sly half-grin. "I do believe there is a seat with your name right on it beside lover boy over there." He gestured with his head toward Gerard. I followed his gaze, my eyes narrowed and noticed Gerard looking at Brendon, smiling at him. Brendon waved at Gerard, who raised his brows in some form of greeting and then Brendon was shoving me in his direction before I had a chance to decipher any of what had just occurred.

I begrudgingly settled myself into the seat beside him, making sure to put emphasis on the fact that I wanted as much space as I could put between us by shoving my chair as far to the side as it would go, until the side hit the table leg.

"Hi, Frank."

I scrunched my nose up in annoyance, partly at myself for the blush that rose to my cheeks when he said my name, and partly because he was an ass. He had gone for casual but somehow, it just came off as condescending.

I chose to ignore him, keeping my eyes trained directly at the front of the class.

I heard him sigh deeply and dramatically beside me. "How very mature of you." He muttered sarcastically and it took everything I had not to turn toward him and show him _just_  how immature I could be.

Turner walked in at that point and I let out a huff of breath. Let's just get this shit over with.

"Homework." Was the first thing he said as he entered the classroom and my eyes instantly bulged from their sockets, cheeks burning.

Oh no.

Homework? What fucking homework?

 _I don't remember him assigning... Homework_ , I though dejectedly as I watched everyone in class, even Brendon and Pete, rifle through their notebooks.

I noticed Gerard flick through his own notebook from the corner of my eye and I tried to wrack my brains to remember... I _had_ been zoned out most of that lesson. Fuck. It was all Gerard's fault.

Why did I have to be paired with him?

Why did he have to come back into my life?

I fidgeted in my seat, chin in my hands as I let out a sigh of frustration.

Gerard watched me from the corner of his eye and cleared his throat to capture my attention. I ignored him again. He could eat shit for all I cared.

Turner was walking around the class, inspecting everyone's notebooks and then he finally loomed over our table and I sat there, lips parted to come out my convoluted excuse i'd been working up towards. 

"Frank?" He raised his brows, arms crossed over his chest as he waited and I darted my eyes helplessly around the room, anywhere but at him. My face was burning with heat. I sucked in a breath... Here goes.

"Here ya go, Mr Turner." Gerard suddenly spoke, shoving his opened notebook across the table so Turner could inspect it. "We worked on it together." I could only blink down at the table as Gerard covered for me and I watched from the corner of my eye as he kept his eyes trained on Turner who was inspecting the work.

"Good definition here and an excellent plan. I look forward to seeing your final projects. I have high hopes for you." He smiled warmly at us before moving onto the next group.

I let out a deep sigh. Turner was notorious for throwing out the detentions for even the littlest things. I really was not in the mood for a detention. I was far too restless to sit in a class for an hour doing absolutely nothing.

But more to the point, why had Gerard just saved my ass? He had no obligation to. What would he get out of it? I was being kinda dick-ish towards him yet he still chose to cover for me.

" _Thank you, Gerard_. You're welcome Frank." Gerard's tone was slightly amused and now I was back to being annoyed at him in the span of a few seconds. He really was a condescending ass. I mean I _was_  going to thank him but he ruined it.

"Today, you're going to review your plans and finalise your layout before you start on your projects. Remember, this is counting toward your individual, overall grade so I need to see evidence that you have both been putting in the work." Turner went on and then everyone was talking excitedly, dropping ideas back and forth, crossing out and re-writing them.

Gerard dropped the notebook between us and I startled to attention. "So, I have a plan. We're going with my plan, unless you have any better ideas?" Gerard murmured and I scoffed at him, watching him from the corner of my eye because I didn't even deem him worthy of my full attention.

"What are you saying, that my ideas suck? You haven't even given me a chance for any input. You just left and then you turn up and start crediting me for your work. _Thanks_ , _Gerard,_ " I mocked him bitterly, all my once dormant emotions now on a rampage, "but i'm pretty sure I can think for myself."

Gerard regarded me coolly and that only pissed me off more. He didn't even seem somewhat affected by my words. If he was, then he was very good at hiding it.

"If you had something to say, should have said it last lesson. It's not like I had a clamp around your tongue." He muttered and I sucked in a breath and held back a scoff. _Oh, you have no idea._

I bit my tongue on that, though. Instead, I said, "If you wanted my input, least you could have done was given me your contact details."

Gerard smirked, leaning forwards onto the table and tilting his head so he was facing me wholly, brow arched in amusement. "Oh? Is that your discreet way of asking for my number, Frank? If you wanted it, all you had to do was ask." He shrugged, his eyes growing dark again and I felt my cheeks burn as though hot iron had been pressed against them.

"No! Not for- not like _that_ , just... If we want this project to work, we have to keep in contact _somehow_. Obviously." I gulped, unable to keep my voice from trembling and Gerard was finding this all too amusing. He was now leaning his elbow on the table, cheek squished and resting on his fist as he regarded me with smiling eyes.

There he was, for a brief moment. The old Gerard. And it almost knocked me off my feet when he started giggling. The first time I had heard him laugh in... in _forever_  and I was about 0.2 seconds from internal combustion.

"Okay, Frank. I was teasing. Your buttons are still far too easy to push." Gerard commented and I tried hard to stop myself from just grabbing him by the shoulders and punching him in the face before pressing out lips together in an angry kiss. I didn't now whether I wanted to hurt him or fuck him. Maybe a mixture of both.

I shook my wayward thoughts. _Stop it, Frank. These thoughts are far from normal._

I furrowed my brows together as I ignored what he had implied. I wanted to ignore the fact i had ever even known him, but it was getting harder and harder. Every time I saw him, it evoked another memory from our childhood and it just pissed me off that much more to know that he so easily just threw away what we had as though it had meant nothing to him.

I focused my energy on looking over the notes he had made and my brows crinkled further. His writing was so messy, I could barely make it out.

He seemed to get the memo after I leaned in closer to take a better look and suddenly his lips were on my ear, grazing the soft bony skin as he whispered, making everything all hot and tingly. "It says; lust..." His voice was low, throaty and deep and sultry and I swear he was doing this on purpose. "An intense longing or desire. For worldly thing such as money, power..." I clasped my hands together under the table to hide the fact they were currently trembling and my body was overcome with a hot flush as I felt him inch ever closer. 

His hand smoothed over my thigh and everything was thrown into overdrive; my sense, my brain, my  _heart_. 

He kept his hand there, resting against my upper thigh as he spoke, his voice set to such a whispered hush that I was the only one in the room that could possibly have heard him say it. "... _Unbridled sexual desire_."

And I swore in that moment, I would melt into the earth when he squeezed my thigh and took my ear between his teeth, grazing the skin there ever so gently before pulling away, just as quickly as it had started.

And I was thankful because I could feel my body betraying me in the spot right between my legs, and I squeezed my thighs together and tried to think of anything apart from Gerard's lips on my skin. I was so close to moaning uncontrollably in the middle of class like a whore and I grit down on my teeth, clutching the edge of the table for stability.

And Gerard went on, pretending not to notice the fact he had affected me in the slightest. "I have this cool idea about a zombie apocalypse and there's this couple who are trapped inside this basement and one of them is infected but the other one doesn't know. Long story short, the uninfected tries to get it on with the infected and he keeps trying to resist her, until it all becomes too much and he finally gives in." He was leaning into me now so we were mere inches apart. His elbow was on the table again, face once again resting against his fist. "She gets infected and finds out. She kills him in a fit of rage and then kills herself out of remorse."

I blinked down at the table, still trying to compose myself but I was speaking before I knew it. "Talk about dark."

Gerard just smiled again. It was starting to really grate on me, now. "Really? I feel like it's more a metaphor for STDs or something. The earthly consequences of unbridled lust." He spoke in a dramatic tone. "Of course, in hell, you'd be punished differently because, adultery; sex outside of marriage."

He had a sly smile on now, his eyes freely roving over my body and I suddenly felt very _very_  exposed. I felt the need to cover myself up, even though I already essentially was. it was as though he as looking through me.

"And of course, unbridled lust can lead to sexually immoral acts." Gerard dropped his gaze to my lap and suddenly, his fingers were resting atop my thigh once again and I gripped the table harder on instinct, words lost in my throat and eyes all but rolling into the back of my head as he tread his forefinger and middle finger along my thigh, torturous and slow. His voice was low again and it baffled me how he could change so fast. How he could go from calm and cool to sexy and provocative with the snap of fingers.

"Sexually immoral, like..." He was sitting in his chair so his knee brushed against my thigh, fingers still trailing slowly up my leg under the table. "Sodomy. _Man shall not lie with man_."

I sucked in a sharp, audible gasp and quickly bit down on my lower lip. I couldn't move. I was frozen in place and his fingers were inching dangerously close to my upper, inner thigh. "But, I mean that's not what I wanted to portray because that's all religious morals. I think it's bullshit." he murmured, his fingers stopping now and my breathing was coming out heavy and my entire body was tense and stiff. "What do you think, Frank?"

It took me a good moment to realise he had been addressing me, his warm palm now resting on my inner thigh.

"I-huh?" I breathed out, gasping for air, unable to meet his intense eyes.

Gerard smoothed his fingers, pressing them into the tight gap between my inner thighs and I couldn't stop the whimper that left my lips. My face was burning with heat and I prayed to _God_  that nobody was looking at us right now. It felt as though I was being watched. I felt so put on display and I couldn't bear to raise my gaze from the desk in front of me. My eyes were locked on my whited out knuckles gripping the edge of the desk and suddenly, Gerard tugged at my thigh, his fingers tightly pressing into the meaty skin as he pulled my legs apart and I let him, without any resistance. I was a mess. A trembling, whimpering, hot, slutty, hormonal mess and it was _so wrong_. So fucking wrong to be feeling like this in the middle of fucking class and Gerard was making no move to put any space between us.

I couldn't even push him away or open open my mouth enough to just say _stop, this is so fucked_.

My throat was dry as I swallowed, head pounding with every hard beat of my heart.

"What do you think about a man fucking a man?" He muttered, fingers brushing against the bulge in my pants and that was the last straw, the one that made me shoot upright in my seat, stumbling to my feet and pushing Gerard away from myself in a flustered heat.

Nobody was really looking at me, as I had originally thought, and I rushed toward the door. Turner was about to tell me to sit down but I quickly called over my shoulder. "I need the bathroom." And with that, I was off, running to the next available toilet and shoving myself into the far cubicle before locking the door behind me and settling myself onto the closed lid of the toilet.

All that could be heard was the dripping of a tap, the gurgling of pipes in the walls and my sharp, shallow and painfully audible breaths as I willed my entire body to calm down. I willed my hormones to balance themselves out again. I clutched at my heart, willing it to stop ramming against my ribcage _please_. I dropped my head into my hands as I tried to think about anything that would subside this semi I was currently rocking.

I tried to think about anything other than Gerard's hands on my body. His hand getting further than it already had, smoothing up over my bare stomach, over the muscles in my back, fingers running through my hair, tugging and pulling at the strands with one hand as his other hand gripped at my-

It was too late. My hand was already moving before I could register it and I groaned out loud in frustration; angry at Gerard, but mostly angry at _myself_  because apparently I have no fucking self-control.

I undid my zipper in a rush before pushing my pants and boxers down at once to rest on my knees. I gripped my shaft with my fist, pumping instantly, head thrown back to rest against the wall behind me.

So much anger thrown into every stroke, my fist tight around my length as I imagined him rocking that smug smile, especially when i got back to class. He would know. He most definitely _knew_  what I was up to right now and it only spurred me on, made me more annoyed but _fuck_  it felt so good.

So good, to imagine me and him.

My brain whirred with images and I was looking at my knuckles in class again, whited out against the edge of the table. Except this time, we were alone. This time, I was leaning over the table with my pants around my ankles as he fucked into me so hard, my thighs pushed painfully up against the edge of the table each time and left bruises from each sharp thrust of his hips.

The pain would feel so good, _fuck_  and oh I could only imagine how good it would feel to have him inside me. The thought made me moan and I grit out a _fuck you, Gerard_ , as my fist sped up, nails scraping against my underside as I spread my legs as far as they would go with the constrain of my pants around my knees.

"F-fuckin' _hate_ you. So much." I moaned louder, more obscene as I was moving at lightning speed now, not caring for the burn of my rough palm against my skin.

I was sweating profusely now and I was falling apart as I imagined Gerard's hands on me, stroking me 'til I climaxed over his face, his chest. I imagined how his black hair would look if I got some in there too, how the white would contrast against it.

I fell back, panting hard as I gripped my shaft with my other hand, using the current one to stroke my base. I dug my thumb into it, biting on my lip so hard as I smeared pre-cum so the glide of my hand was smoother against myself. I kept going, my back aching and my body hot and sweaty as I neared my climax. I felt the heat and the pleasant cramp in my stomach, tightening and knotting, begging to be undone.

And then, with a flash of white followed by a momentary blackness, everything exploded and I was coming over my fist. The hardest I had in a while. I gasped as I pumped myself dry and fell against the wall in a heap.

I was breathing so hard, gulping with a dry throat and when my eyes readjusted to reality, I winced as I watched cum drip to the floor, brows furrowed as the guilt set in.

 _Fuck_.

I pushed it to the back of my mind as I cleaned everything off as best I could, shoving the tissues into the toilet and flushing them down before pulling my pants up and heading to the sinks. 

My face was flushed red and my hair was all dishevelled. I winced, brushing my fingertips over my lower lip as I noticed i'd bit my lip so hard that i'd drawn blood. _Fuck_.

I sighed at myself before washing my hands and splashing cold water over my face. I readjusted my shirt and pants to ensure they didn't look all crumpled and I smoothed my hair down, wiping away the sweat and pushing my fringe out of my face.

I took a deep, courageous breath as I mustered the energy I needed to step back into that classroom and face Gerard.

You'd think after jerking off, it would take the edge off things. It usually did. As I stepped back into that classroom, I was nothing but a bundle of nerves and paranoia. I felt as though everyone _knew_  what I had just done. I felt as though they were judging me.

But nobody was looking my way; not to my knowledge. I wasn't even acknowledged as I entered the classroom and quickly re-took my seat.

Gerard was hunched over his notebook and I fidgeted in my chair, willing myself to calm down. My cheeks flushed instantly when he looked up and met my eyes for a brief second and I was back in that bathroom, moaning his name and I could no longer bear to look him in the eye so I dropped my gaze into my lap.

I could _feel_  him smirking but he said nothing. Not a word. We worked in relative silence, after that. Occasionally talking when we had to but Gerard bit back anything he had been yearning to say. Something unspoken twisting in the air between our bodies.

*

"My place or yours?"

"What?" I blinked at Gerard as we packed our things away to get to our next lesson. My cheeks were burning up again and he was looking right _through_  me. I felt a shudder down my spine and bit my lips, wincing at the sharp pain it caused when I remembered i'd cut myself by biting down on it when i'd-

 _Oh God,_ now I was blushing even harder.

Gerard raised his brows. "For our project?" He grinned slyly, as though it was amusing to him that he had to clarify his reason for asking in the first place.

"I... I don't...?" I could barely get a word out, hating how awkward and shy my body got around him. I could never speak a complete sentence without stuttering and he always had the uncanny ability to make my stomach seize and my thighs tremble with a simple look.

"Mine it is." He smiled brightly. "I'll text you." And with that, he was gone. He was fast, i'd give him that.

Only when he had disappeared and I stepped over the threshold of the room into the corridor did I realise I hadn't even given him my number.

*

Gerard had moved back into his old family home and I could safely say since he'd been back, I had not seen him _once_ outside his house, apart from at school.

Not even Mikey. I hadn't seen Mikey in so long, either.

I had been so tempted to go over and knock on their door but they kept themselves to themselves. My ma had gone over and even asked me to come but i'd always freaked myself out and backed out at the last moment. I had imagined Gerard wouldn't want to see me.

 **Gee:**   **My place. 5?**

I stared at my phone in my hands, wondering how the fuck he'd managed to get my number. Before the thought that the question could possibly come off as rude had crossed my mind, I was already texting it out.

**How'd u get my number?**

I watched as the three little dots appeared, signalling that he was typing. I clutched my phone in my clammy palms, breath hitching in my throat at his eventual reply.

**Gee: I'll tell u when u come over.**

I groaned in frustration, head hitting the back of the sofa. It was Saturday and I had hoped to spend it cosied up in my living room watching reruns of _The Twilight Zone_.

What was I going to do? My heart was hammering in my chest and my legs went all jelly like. I couldn't go over to his house. I just _couldn't._

But, did I want a fail in class? I couldn't afford a fail. And I most certainly did not want to be put on lifetime detention with Turner. That's be _hours_  of my life I could never get back. 

I was nervous as fuck and honestly... I was scared. And anxious. the last time i'd been in his house was two years ago and it was going to be so awkward. I just knew it. But a part of me wanted to see him again. Practically _begged_  me to type out a _fuck, yes please._

**Ok.**

There. I kept it short, sweet, to the point. Nothing could be taken weirdly from that... right?

Fuck it, it was done now. There was no point in overthinking.

But I couldn't help it. I checked the time on my phone and _fuck_  it was already just past four.

I threw the blankets off my body and jumped off the sofa. I needed a shower. I needed to get _changed_ , brush my teeth, sort out my hair and my face and-

Oh God, why was I getting so worked up about this? It wasn't a fucking date. It was... just two boys, hanging out together and making art. We could keep it professional. Yeah. Just small talk, nothing too major. Keep it cool.

I stood on the doorstep of his house an hour later, washed, dried and fresh-clothed. It was exactly five and I felt like I had to wait a full minute before I knocked otherwise he'd think I was too eager. Right?

I knocked precisely three times, hard and loud and I counted exactly twelve seconds until the door swung open and I was greeted by, "Mikey?"

"Frank." His face lit up and before I knew it, I was being pulled into a hug.

"Uh... H-hi?" I muttered when he released me and I tumbled backward slightly.

Then I was met with a smack against my arm. "Hey, what the-?" I furrowed my brows in confusion as I rubbed at my arm.

Mikey lifted his chin, lips pursed determinedly. "Your ma came over but you didn't. Could have at least come over to say hi!" Mikey scolded and I scoffed at him, lips parted in incredulity.

"I-I didn't think... You know what, why didn't _you_  come to say hi?" I poked his shoulder and he stumbled backwards.

"I- Well... Fine. Touche." He grumbled. "But you're here now. Gee's in the basement. Come in." He pulled the door opened wider and I stepped through into the house.

Everything was different. Empty.

They'd all left and the house had gone up for rent for local college kids and when the first lot had gone, they'd decided to return home. Everything was different. Donna's imprint on the house had been wiped away- her favourite faux fur rug that rested in the foyer. Her obscure leopard print wallpaper in the living room. The colour in this house. It was gone. Everything was just boring and dull and minimalistic and there were a couple boxes pushed up against the far wall that they'd forgotten to throw out when moving back in.

I followed Mikey as he chattered about New Jersey and how everything is _so_  different there and hos much he loved his grandma and how cool she was and then he was rattling the handle on a door that read _Trespassers Beware, You're in for a Scare..._

Did he- was that a fucking _Goosebumps_  reference? Jesus Christ, what a dork. 

I smiled, despite myself. I remembered how when we were kids, Goosebumps was the closest thing to horror our parents would let us get. I wasn't even allowed to watch horror movies until I was like fourteen. Quite honestly, though, the books had been terrifying to read as a kid. But that was the whole appeal of them. We'd sit in the dark in our bedroom at night and hold a flashlight under the covers. I'd sit trembling in front of Gerard as he read to me. I used to love it when he read to me. It didn't make it seem so scary, like it was when i'd sit at home and try to read it myself.

Mikey pushed open the door and I took a glance around as I followed him into the room. I couldn't hold back the smile that stretched across my face.

This was the only room in the house so far that had any sort of colour. There were shelves lining the painted walls which held little titbits, figurines and comics, as well as a healthy collection of novels.

The room was quite large, for a basement and we wandered into a corner of the room where Gerard was currently cross-legged on a bed in his boxers.

He knew I was coming, why the fuck was he sat without pants on?

He had a pencil in his hand and he tilted his head up when we came into his line of sight. He had been sketching, it seemed. There were pages sprawled out on his bed, rubbers lying askew, pencil sharpening littering the sheets. He smiled at me in greeting.

"Hi, Frankie." He grinned, his teeth all on display and I didn't know what to do. For a moment, I was taken back to when we were kids. This was the old Gerard. This was what he did. 

I felt all awkward all of a sudden. Out of place. Like I didn't belong here.

"Erh... Hey." I muttered, scratching at my neck. A short silence befell the room and Mikey darted his eyes between me and Gerard, and I noticed Gerard give his brother a look. As though they were having some sort of internal conversation.

Finally, Mikey sighed and left the room.

"Close the door behind you!" Gerard called out but he;d only gotten halfway through that sentence when Mikey had already left, door closed.

"He always leaves the door open. It's fuckin' annoying. Hey! Take a seat... Erh... Here." He looked down at his bed, realising there was nowhere for me to sit with all the mess and in a quick movement, he jumped off and grabbed his pages, stacking them up and shoving them on a desk behind him.

He gripped the edge of his sheets and tossed them so all the sharpenings and little bits fell to the ground. He replaced the sheets and jumped back onto the bed, bouncing on it slightly and he patted the mattress beside him, gesturing for me to do the same. I gulped and dropped my bag to the floor before shrugging out of my jacket.

"Where shall I... erh?" I gestured with my arm, asking what to do with it. This was so awkward.

"Oh." He shrugged. "Whatever, just toss it somewhere but like, I gotta warn you, this room is like a void. You lose something once and it never comes back." He joked and I nodded, lips tight as I tried not to focus on the fact he wasn't wearing fucking pants and had his legs crossed so I could see the outline of his fucking dick if I stared long enough. I kept my eyes focused on his face, instead, and settled on the edge of the bed, legs hanging off the side. I placed my jacket on the floor next to my bag.

There was another silence that fell and I took the moment to have a look around his room, trying not to focus on it. I held back a smile when my eyes caught a corner that had been splattered carelessly all over with paint, an easel propped up just in front of it with an unfinished outline of a sketch.

"So..." Gerard started and I blinked my attention back to him, cheeks flushed red.

"Welcome back to my humble abode. How have you been, Frank?" Gerard talked as though nothing had changed between us and I wasn't sure whether to feel at ease or unnerved.

"I- fine?" I muttered.

He nodded. "Okay. I- just... I know... I don't- okay." Gerard sucked in a breath and tried again. "You hungry?" He started and I shook my head, dropping my eyes to my lap.

"Not really." I shrugged.

"Fine. You wanna smoke?" He offered, reaching over to his bedside table and grabbing a box of cigarettes. 

I nodded. "Fuck yeah." I needed something to take the edge off. Hopefully a lungful of nicotine would be enough.

Gerard grinned and tossed me a stick and I caught it mid-air as he lit his cigarette first.

I awkwardly held it between my fingers and blinked at Gerard, waiting for him to pass me the lighter.

He blinked right back and then he raised his brow, gesturing at the lighter. "You want this?" I nodded. _Duh._

Gerard shook his head. "If you want it, come and get it." He patted the bed right in front of him and I felt a hot flush down my back. "I don't bite, Frank. Come closer."

I took a deep breath before shuffling myself awkwardly on my knees before settling myself opposite Gerard, mimicking his position. I reached out my hand, brow raised and Gerard dropped it into my hand, satisfied at out proximity.

I lit the cigarette and sucked in a drag. I held back a moan when I felt the first tendrils slither down my throat, warming me up from inside. I watched Gerard with my head thrown back as I blew out the smoke, letting it dance in the air between us before disappearing into the oxygen.

Gerard was watching me, I noticed but as soon as my eyes met his, he sucked in his own drag and threw his head back so it hit the wall behind him. His eyes were closed and all of a sudden, he let out an obnoxiously loud, throaty sound.

"Fuuuck." He moaned, extending the vowel. I blinked and sucked in some more smoke when I felt my resolve shattering and my fingers trembling again.

I fidgeted in my seat, trying to get a little more comfortable and we smoked in silence for a while, sort of watching each other. Then, Gerard leaned closer, watching me intently.

"Remember the first time we smoked?" Gerard smiled, a glint in his eye and I returned it, despite myself.

I felt a little more relaxed, but I was still on alert. 

"When you lit the wrong end of your cigarette and wondered why it wouldn't work. And by the time we figured it out- which had to be like hours f googling later- ma was back home and..." Gerard trailed off, his smile dropping in intensity as he looked down at the covers, fiddling with a loose tendril and a frown creasing his forehead.

I realised why he had gotten quiet. Maybe talking about his mother still got to him. Maybe he wasn't over it, still.

My mouth ran away with myself before I knew what I was even saying. "And we grabbed the entire box and shoved them down the toilet. That was the day we learned that cigarettes don't flush very well." I finished, trying to ease the tension in the air.

Gerard looked up at me and the smile returned. He nibbled his lower lip and cocked his head slightly before leaning his elbow against his thigh and dropping his chin into his open palm.

"So- what were you drawing?" I asked before he had a chance to delve into whatever he had been about to say. I wanted to divert the topic from _us_.

Gerard shrugged. "Just some random sketches, nothing major. I was bored." He blew smoke from the corner of his mouth and I was mesmerised with watching him talk. The way the words trickled out from that one corner of his mouth, the way his lip lower twitched sideways as he spoke.

My eyes were just drawn to his lips, not that his eyes weren't just as mesmerising to watch. But I liked to watch his mouth as he spoke; in the least creepy way possible.

"Can I- can I see?" I asked and instantly my face flushed but he just shrugged again, gesturing at his desk. 

"Be my guest." He smiled, although there was something behind that smile. I couldn't quite place it.

Not until I stood myself up and had a rifle through his stack of sketches. I furrowed my brows as I felt his gaze penetrating through the back of my skull.

"Oh... these are- they're _really_  good, holy fuck." I blinked in awe. I'd forgotten just how talented he was with a pencil.

The detail in these sketches, the outlines. The shadings. It all looked so- oh wait.

Why did this look so familiar? These eyes he was drawing.

That nose.

I furrowed my brows as I tried to put a name to the features and kept coming up short.

But it all got lost down my throat when I flicked through another page where there was a full face profile and it all clicked in my head.

_Me._

_This looked like me!_

He was drawing sketches of me and it wasn't like he was referencing images. He'd done all this freehand but the detail in the drawings was fucking- it was scary. I traced the lines with my finger absentmindedly, before realising what I was doing. 

I kept my back to him to hide the horrible redness of my face and neck. I cleared my throat, realising i;d just been complimenting him on creepy non-consensual drawings of myself.

I knew if I turned around then i'd be met with that stupid smirk.

I dropped the pages to the desk. I wasn't sure whether to let on that I knew or not or to just pretend I hadn't noticed anything. I found it a little uneasy, him keeping these. It was like someone finding nudes of you and saving them to their phone, I don't know. It was... _Weird_.

"Do you like them?" Gerard mused and I sucked in a deep breath before turning around to face him.

I smiled and nodded quickly. "Sure."

Gerard grinned at me slyly. "Good. I wasn't sure if I got the proportions right and stuff but now you're here, I can practice even better if you pose for me, instead of chancing glances at you in class."

My eyes grew wide, hands gripping the desk behind me for stability. Why was this conversation taking a weird ' _draw me like your French girls, Jack_ ' detour?

My legs felt all wobbly and my head was pounding but I swallowed down the nerves as best I could. I didn't know how to respond to him and his grin only grew.

"I was only teasing, Frank." He winked at me and I swear I saw stars for a brief moment.

I laughed nervously, making a mental note to grab those sketches and shove them into my bag when he wasn't looking.

But he'd probably just make more.

 _Fuck_.

Why was he doing this to me?

Why was he... he was definitely flirting with me, right?

He comes back out of nowhere and into my life and he fucks with my emotions.

Like that time when he groped me for a light. And then again, when he groped me under the table in class and his lips and his teeth were on my ear and oh God. 

And now I find out he's been drawing me and he fucking _winked_  at me and I was well and truly losing it.

And I didn't know what to feel.

"Why?" I blurted out before I knew what I was doing. 

Gerard half-smirked at me lazily. "You have nice facial features. Kind of perfect for drawing, actually."

"No." I shook my head, frowning and squeezing my eyes shut to gather myself. "No, that's not- why are you doing this?"

He dropped the smirk then, eyes focused on me and I felt like shrinking away into nothingness. "What am I doing, Frank?" He countered with a question of his own.

"I don't know!" I muttered, helplessly throwing my hands out in front of me. "I don't fucking know, Gerard." I pulled the cigarette into my mouth, sucking harshly, frustrated. I groaned when I realised it was almost down to the end now. I blew the smoke out, narrowed eyes on Gerard as I spoke. "Why don't you tell me?"

Gerard regarded me and I felt exposed again, even though he was the one in nothing but boxers and a shirt that barely cover mid-thigh. I hated the way he could just give me that look and it was as though he was looking into my very fucking _soul_ and I _felt_  it all the way through to my bones. It freaked me out.

"Why don't we just get on with our project? It's what you came for, isn't it?" Gerard murmured.

That was when it dawned on me that he still hadn't answered my question as to how he'd gotten my number in the first place.

"No. I want answers, Gerard. I want answers first and- and I- fuck, man." I ran my fingers through my hair in frustration. "We can't... We can't just _fake_  it. We can't just _pretend_ like eight years of fucking friendship didn't happen. We can't... We can't pretend we didn't... That we- God, that _I_ -" I couldn't get the words out and I slapped my hands over my hot face before pulling at it in annoyance at myself. What was I trying to say? Why couldn't I get the words out?

Gerard was looking at me again with that weird look and then he reached out and stubbed his cigarette in an ash tray, dropping it in and sliding off his bed.

I gulped, my hands tightening on the desk behind me as he moved closer. I kept my eyes locked on his face, no matter how tempted I was to let them linger on his creamy, exposed thighs. His boxers had rode up slightly, putting his thighs on further display and I gripped the desk painfully tightly, probably enough to splinter the wood and pierce my fingers.

_No. Stop getting fucking distracted._

He stopped right in front of me, just like that time out by the smoking shelter. Except this time it was a lot more intimidating because he was half dressed and like this, he definitely had more of a hold on me than i'd like to admit.

I looked up at him through my lashes, back arched into the desk behind me as he leaned over me. "That you what, Frank? Spit it out."

I gulped, my entire body thrumming and throbbing with heat, entirely _too_ aware of Gerard's existence and closeness.

" _Why_?" I whimpered pathetically, tears blurring my vision although I have no idea why. "Why did you leave me?"

His eyes grew soft, then. For a brief moment. In understanding. Mutual understanding, it seemed. 

And then his hands were on my waist, firm and holding me in place, and his lips were on my skin and _everything was fucking incandescent_.

***********  
**

 


	2. Chapter 2

 

*************

Gerard's lips were on my ear, his chest pressed against mine and my back arched over the desk, the back of my thighs pressed tightly against the edge. My hands were gripping the desk to keep me from falling back and Gerard's fingers were digging into my sides.

I went to speak, to ask him again with my voice more firm and assertive but then he was kissing my skin, lips at the edge of my jaw and I gasped from my parted lips before biting down on my tongue to hold back a moan when his knee pressed between my legs, parting them further and resting his thigh against my crotch.

His lips brushed down my jaw and neck, stopping against the crook where I felt his tongue dart out and he licked at my skin and I could no longer feel my hands. Everything was burning up and tingling and my hand slipped and I no longer had my stability. My hands flung outward, grabbing at the first thing they could and they were gripping the front of Gerard's shirt, pulling him closer to me in turn as I threw my head back and he worked his magic against my arched neck.

His hands slipped from my waist, gripping the desk behind me and pinning me between his arms. There was no way I could get away from him if I even wanted to.

He rubbed the tip of his nose against my shoulder, nudging my shirt away from my neck so he could access the skin there with his teeth and when he nibbled down hard enough to bruise, my thighs tightened around his leg.

He suckled on my skin and it took everything I had not to rut against his thigh, but I held myself in check as best I could, especially when he finally released my skin from between his teeth and pressed kisses over it again and again, tracing his lips up my neck and his hand coming up to tangle his fingers in my hair. He was tugging on the strands, pulling my head back so my neck was even more exposed and that was when a breathy moan finally let itself slip from my mouth and every last sense of self-control was abandoned because Gerard tugged my hair enough so our faces met and our lips clasped together. 

I couldn't believe this was actually happening, for an entire moment. We just stayed still, our lips pressed together, unmoving.

And I couldn't hold it together anymore. My hips were moving of their own accord, rolling once, slow and hard against his leg and then his lips were moving suddenly, hard and slow and deep and _fuck_  where the hell was I?

My mind went completely blank and fuzzy and all I could feel and sense and taste and think was _Gerard_.

He pushed his thigh up against me and my toes curled inside my sneakers and I felt myself push back against the desk and then Gerard's hands were on my hips, lifting me so I was sat on the edge, legs swinging off the front and thighs wrapped around Gerard as he settled himself between them.

I pulled on his shirt, tugging him closer still as he took my lower lip between his own and nibbled on it, tugging it towards himself and I felt myself moan and whimper in a mixture of delight and desperation because I wanted so much more. I pushed myself forwards, tugging him as close to myself as I could get him and his arms wrapped around my middle as our lips locked together and then everything was fucking _wild_. Our lips moved in a heated passion, fast and hungry and uncoordinated as fuck; a mess of teeth and tongue and my body was a bonfire, alight and hungry and _wanting._ All that anger i'd felt for him, that frustration and angst and fucking pining and _want_  was all coming through the way I moved against him in a confused display of affection and lust.

Soft, choked and breathy moans were reverberating between us as we kissed until our lips were tender and swollen and then Gerard pulled away and I was scared.

I was scared for that because I wanted to keep kissing him but I knew what he was doing. I knew he was trying to distract me. Either that or he was using this to bide his time to come up with an answer (although, if he'd felt the way I had kissing him, then there was no way he could have been able to even think well enough to come up with an answer) and I wasn't sure if I wanted to know anymore. I just wanted to kiss him and touch him. To lay him down and explore his body as he explored mine, memorising every single mark and beauty spot or mole or stretch mark because I wanted him ingrained in my mind. I wanted all of him.

There was space between us now. _Too_  much space. I wanted to pull him down again, to kiss him until my lips could no longer feel. Everything i'd felt prior to this kiss was thrown out the window. Everything that had happened between us; I felt like it didn't matter because, _fuck_ , I wanted him so bad. I wanted him _so bad_ that it hurt and I didn't know why. I couldn't even think rationally. I just wanted him, any way I could have him.

"Frank." Gerard gasped out, his chest moving rapidly as he closed his eyes and tried to control his breathing.

I still had a tight hold of his shirt and I realised I was crinkling the material so I released him from my hold, letting my hands fall awkwardly into my lap as a my face turned a, no doubt, deep crimson colour. I felt heat dance its way up my face, burning, as he looked down at me, so intently. His eyes looked so dark, especially with the black strands that fell over them. My fingers twitched with the urge to tuck the strands behind his ears so I could _really_ look at him but then it dawned on me exactly what had just happened.

His face was flushed and he looked a little embarrassed, as though he couldn't believe he had just done that and the fuzziness in my brain started to ebb away when he finally spoke. "I didn't mean to hurt you, Frank." His voice was thick and heavy, weighed down by his guilt.

I couldn't look at his face any longer because it was making my stomach all knotted and the mortification I felt for kissing him back like _that_  was settling itself inside me comfortably.

Yet I still wanted to kiss him, despite that. Just... Under better circumstances.

I felt his hands slide down to grasp my hips and my back stiffened at his touch, tingles shooting up my spine, but my eyes remained focused on my lap, fingers clasped together.

"I didn't... I didn't _leave_  you." Gerard started and then my head snapped up because _what the fuck_?

"Yes, you did." I spoke, my voice as level as I could keep it. I could feel something bubbling under the surface because what the hell was he saying?

He shook his head, brows furrowed together. "No, I didn't- I- fuck. This isn't about you, Frank. I needed space. I don't regret leaving because I needed time to come to terms with all that shit that was happening and- and my Grandma helped me through it." I turned my face away from him, brows pulled together and lips in a sneer because fucking _two years._ Two. Years. And not a word. He gripped my waist tighter, as though I would disappear if he didn't have a hold of me and his tone grew desperate. "You have to understand, I felt so suffocated in this house. It was like I could _feel_  her around me, but never ever see her or touch her again and it was- it was fucking frustrating and depressing and I was going so mad. I needed space. I needed to- I needed to let her go."

I understood. I did, but... "Why did you never call? Why did _we_ stop talking? Why did you need space from _me_? Why did you..." I sucked in a deep breath and turned to face Gerard, eyes determined. "Why didn't you say _goodbye_." My voice betrayed me, cracking towards the end and Gerard furrowed his brows in confusion, cheeks tinging slightly pink.

"I did. I _did_ say goodbye, Frank." I was shaking my head as soon as he said the first words, my heart hammering hard and my hands fisted in my lap.

"No. No you fucking didn't Gerard. You... You _kissed_  me and then you left without a word. That wasn't a goodbye, Gerard. That was- it was..." I trailed off, unable to finish that sentence. I didn't want him to know how much it had hurt that i'd willingly given him my heart in that moment and he'd raised all my hopes, and then crushed it all at once under his foot like they meant nothing to him.

I didn't want him to know how much power he'd had over me. How long i'd spent suffering without him, just as he'd been suffering without his mother.

"I'm sorry." Gerard murmured, gulping and my hands fisted even harder in my lap because those words meant _nothing_  to me. Sorry wouldn't make up for him leaving me.

I pressed my fist against his chest, pushing him away but he didn't budge because apparently, he wasn't finished yet.

I made a frustrated sound from the back of my throat when he pressed closer to me, trapping me in place. He didn't understand that this hurt me so much. The way he was holding me so close.

"Please, let me- _Frankie_." I shook my head at him and he gripped my face in his hands, forcing me to look at him. "I was in a bad place." He started and I scoffed at him.

"Oh, yeah, so that's your shitty excuse?" I spat in a fit of disbelief. "Fuck this." I muttered and started trying to push away from him. "Let me go, right now." I demanded, my teeth grit together and Gerard shook his head.

"Please, let me just _explain_ -"

I was growing angry again, especially when he wrapped his arms around my waist so tight. But then I lost all resolve when he buried his face against my neck and I could feel his hot breath against my skin, lashes fluttering shut as he spoke. "You can't understand what it's like to lose someone you love so much. I felt like if I let myself be happy then I was... I don't know, Frank. It's stupid when I think about it now but you gotta understand that at the time, I couldn't even think straight. Everyone around me was so miserable. My dad, Mikey. _Everyone_. And- and you," I was struggling against him again, tears threatening to spill but he gripped me impossibly tighter and pressed a quick kiss against my neck, stilling me, " _you_  were my only light in all the darkness. And I hated that because my dad had nobody. Mikey had nobody. We only had each other but we were all so miserable and _I_  had _you_  and I- I felt like I didn't deserve that. Like I was so dependent on you keeping me sane but I needed to figure it out on my own. I felt like if I had you, then I was cheating this whole mourning thing because you helped me forget sometimes, but you helped me through it too, and-oh God. It's so fucking stupid. Saying it out loud, it's just- it's fucking stupid. I'm sorry, Frankie. I'm sorry, i'm _sorry._ I swear to God, I mean it. I mean it with everything I have."

I couldn't even speak. Everything he'd just said was swirling around in my head like a tornado and my brain was confused because I didn't know what to _think_ , let alone _feel_.

"I... I gotta go." This was all too much for me and I needed to let it sink in. The fact that he was back, this entire _apology_  and- Oh God it was so overwhelming. I felt like a mess. I needed to gather my thoughts and my feelings.

I thought i'd be able to handle this but I couldn't.

"No." Gerard's voice was deep and unyielding, his face set in a stony expression. "Frank, I can't- I _won't_  let you leave. I need you to- Frank,  _please._ " He pulled me towards him but I pressed my hands against his chest, pushing with all my might.

"Gerard, I don't- I can't stand to fucking look at you right now." My voice was breathy and croaky, tears threatening to spill.

He shook his head, the stubborn bastard. "You know that's a fucking lie." He murmured as he gripped my wrists and tugged harshly until his face was inches apart from mine.

I grit my teeth together and let out a frustrated groan. "Fuck you, Gerard. I fucking hate you. I hate you so much." I breathed out, my heart pounding like crazy and I felt a wetness against my cheeks because my resolve had well and truly shattered; he'd reduced me to tears.

"Now, _I know_ that's a fucking lie." Gerard's breath was hot and his voice throaty as he leaned in, his grip around my wrists tightening as he pressed a soft, tentative kiss to the corner of my mouth.

I didn't even move away. If anything, my body betrayed me and relaxed slightly at his touch, falling into it and letting him use me.

" _Frank_." He whispered against my lips. My name came out sounding like more of a whimper and then he was kissing me and I was kissing him and there were tears and tongue and everything was fucking _ablaze_  because this time, the anger was all gone. He was right. I had been lying.

I didn't hate him.

I _couldn't_.

This time, it was slow and deep, as though we had all the time in the world and we wanted to spend it exploring each other's mouths. I felt myself grow hot and everything was tingly and electric and felt so _good_  and I never wanted it to end.

I was a whimpering mess when he reluctantly broke the kiss again, leaning his forehead against mine. "I want to feel you, Frank. I want to- to touch you and hold you. Can I?" He was watching my lips as he spoke but tilted his head back at the last two syllables so he was looking directly at me. I pulled my lower lip into my mouth and blinked up at him through heavy lidded eyes, his own eyes wide and pleading and desperate and I couldn't deny him. I couldn't say no because I wanted it, just as much as he did.

" _Please_." Gerard whimpered when he thought I was going to say no and that was all it took. I pulled him against me and kissed him again, this time I was leading and I tilted my head so I could get a better angle, my mouth open wide as we kissed arduously and it was dirty and fiery and I wrapped my legs around him, pulling him close and grinding my hips against his own, feeling his growing bulge against my own and then hands were on my ass and I was being lifted, but our lips never parted. Not until I felt his hands release me from their hold and I was falling backwards, my body hitting the bed.

I hadn't expected that and my heart dropped into my stomach as I let out a yelp of surprise, adrenaline pumping through my body and mixing with all my other overactive hormones, driving me fucking wild.

I opened my eyes and Gerard nudged my legs apart, settling between them on his knees and everything was a blur after that.

The door pushed open and there was a voice calling into the room. "Gerard?"

My eyes widened and everything hit me all at once. It was as though his voice was a tether that pulled me back to reality when i'd been lost in some Gerard induced haze.

My heart stopped for a frightful moment and Gerard was looking down at me and then I pushed him off and was moving, scrambling away as quick as I could, up off the bed. 

"I- Oh... Hello, Frank." Donald smiled at me and I could barely meet his eyes as I draped my jacket over my arm, deciding not to waste time trying to put it on with trembling arms.

"Hey." I murmured and felt my face heat up because my voice came out a lot quieter than intended. I kept my eyes on the ground and grabbed my backpack, shoving it over my shoulder as I started speed-walking away.

I didn't dare even look at Gerard. I couldn't imagine what his face looked like right now.

But it seemed Donald didn't get the whole ' _i'm kinda in a rush and want to get away from here'_   vibe I was giving off because he caught my shoulder as I went to brush past him.

"How have you been, Frank? It's been too long." He started. He was a talker. Boy, was he a talker. Always had been.

"Fine." I gulped out, my eyes darting and landing on Gerard who looked somewhere between amused and flustered.

He was sat on his bed and somehow he had a sketchbook in his lap and a pencil between his fingers as he nibbled on the end.

He was watching me as he did it, eyes lidded and pupils aimed up at me through his lashes. He was doing it on purpose, the asshole. I knew it. He was doing it to make me feel all awkward in front of his dad.

"Are you off already?" He frowned as he took in the fact that I looked about ready to be on my way.

"Yep." I couldn't even speak full sentences without feeling all awkward. Not after what had just happened between me and Gerard.

"Nonsense! Stay for dinner. Come on, Frank. We have so much catching up to do. Oh, boy, I remember when there was a time you and Gerard were joined at the hip." I almost choked on air when Gerard smirked at me and winked when his father's attention was on me. _Oh, you have no idea_ ; that's what the look had said. The cheeky fucker.

"I have to-" I started on an excuse but Gerard beat me to the punch.

"Oh _come on_ , Frank. Besides, we got so caught up... _catching up_  with each other that we didn't even make a start on our project."

I bit down hard on my lower lip as Gerard blinked up at me as innocent as he could muster and took the end of the pencil in his mouth again before shrugging at me slightly.

"Really?" Donald seemed delighted. "I'm glad you kids are rekindling that friendship of yours. Well, don't let me get in the way of your school work. Dinner will be ready in half an hour. I expect you there, Frank." I opened my mouth to protest but he silenced me with a pat on the back. "No ifs, ands or buts, kiddo."

He turned and started walking out of the room and I couldn't bring myself to move, all the while debating whether I should just make a run for it as I had originally intended, but my body deciding against that.

"But- I was..." I breathed out pitifully into the air as the door closed behind Donald. 

Then I felt my bag being tugged off my shoulders and before I had the chance to turn around, there was a _thud_  against the floor and arms were wrapped around my waist from behind.

I stiffened up at the touch, a chocked gasp leaving my mouth when Gerard rested his chin against my shoulder.

"It looks like you're staying after all, Frankie." Gerard breathed against my hair and then he was kissing my neck, just under my earlobe and I was getting that knotting, twisting feeling in my stomach and my fingers felt tingly and numb and so did my entire back where his body made contact with mine.

I couldn't breathe and I was scared that his dad would walk in, once again, and I would be doing something that I would probably regret.

So I tore his arms off my body and scrambled away from him, putting enough distance between us where I couldn't feel the heat of his body seeping through me. I turned around, facing him with wide, unblinking eyes.

"I'm not staying." I murmured, reaching for my bag but Gerard pushed me away and then my back was hitting the wall and my jacket dropped from my arms because he was kissing me again, moaning and whimpering into my mouth and I felt the frustration creep itself up again, mixed with apprehension because I felt like we were going to get caught. As much as my body protested it, I pushed him away.

"You've got to _s-stop_  doing that." My voice was traitorously breathy and low.

"Do you really want me to stop?" Gerard challenged, his lips ghosting over my own as he slipped his hands into my hair and I bit down to hold back a groan of approval.

"We can't," I gulped before clearing my throat, "do this. _I_  can't. You're... This is so messy. do you not see how this is so fucking messy?"

"Who says? Who fucking says so, Frank?" Gerard's eyes grew dark and he was tugging on my hair, a little too harshly, and I whimpered.

"Well, we can't just-"

Gerard's lips were on mine again, hard and desperate and _fuck, he really needed to stop doing that because I was so close to wrapping myself around him and letting him do whatever the fuck he wanted to me_.

"Yeah, we can." 

It seemed we had both forgotten how to breathe for a while and so we stood there, face to face, as we re-taught ourselves how to do just that.

I shook my head, trying to clear him as best I could from my mind so the rational part of my brain would work again.

I pressed my fists against his chest and pushed him away and of course, he refused to budge.

"Gerard, you don't- can I... I want to go." I breathed out, eyes closed.

He pressed his face into the crook of my neck and I groaned at him. _So much for space_.

"No, you don't." His voice was muffled.

I guess that needed rephrasing, then. "Fine." I huffed. "I _need_  to go."

Gerard pulled back and looked me straight in the eyes and I couldn't fucking take it. He always looked like he was looking through me and it did things to my body. Terrible things.

"That would be really rude of you, Frank. My pa invited you for dinner." Gerard's voice was low and he nibbled on his lip as he blinked at me pointedly.

"Gerard." I breathed when he smoothed his fingers along my jaw. "What the fuck are we doing?" I closed my eyes.

"I'll tell you what we're _not_ doing." He leaned in to meet my lips again but I pushed him away in a panic, knowing if our lip touched even once again, I would never be able to come back from it.

"Stop!" I snapped. "Gerard, we _can't_." I whined, trying to get it through to him.

"Frank, I want you and I _know,_ " He pushed his hips against mine to exaggerate his point, "you want me." He smirked smugly when he noticed my embarrassed blush. "So what the fuck is the issue here?"

"Why-" I grit my teeth together in frustration. "Why can't you understand that- this would just be really fucking messy? I can't- I can't... Fuck's sake, Gerard we just _can't."_ I pushed him with all my might, having caught him off guard, and he stumbled backward. Finally there was space and I could breathe again.

Gerard looked angry. He looked angry and upset. "No! That's not a good enough answer, Frank. Tell me why? Why, Frank?" He was in front of me again, this time he had a hold of my shoulders and he shook me, trying to get my complete attention. " _Why_?"

I felt a horrible pain in my chest, a heaviness, and I shoved at him in a fit or fury. I hated him. I _did_  hate him. Everything hit me then, and all I saw was a flash of red and I was speaking. No, I was _yelling_.

"Because you already hurt me once, Gerard! You already broke my heart and- if that happened again, then I think you might just break me."

I was breathing hard, hands fisted and Gerard wasn't saying a word. He was just staring at me, but I couldn't look at him again otherwise the anger and adrenaline was going to get washed away by my tears.

I didn't want to cry in front of him and so I pushed out of his hold and _finally_ , he let me go.

I grabbed my bag and didn't dare look back once as I closed the door behind me.

*

**Hang out at Mel's- you coming?**

I sighed as I lay in bed and stared down at my phone. I don't know why, but since yesterday, I couldn't stop staring at it. It was as though I was expecting Gerard to call me or text me to say sorry or just to say anything at all because to be honest, I felt like an idiot.

I lost him once, and just when he was trying to get back into my life, I pushed him away.

Maybe he did want me. But did he want to _be_ with me?

Or maybe that was too much to ask right now.

Maybe I should give it a chance, whatever it was.

Or maybe he was going to fuck everything up again and this time, there was no way of coming back from it.

 _Fool me once, shame on you_ , I grimaced. _Fool me twice..._

I groaned in frustration and tossed my phone to the end of my bed as I curled into my side. I'd spent all day in my room, wasting away.

That text had been sent hours ago and i'd just stared at it on my notification bar, not pressing on it because I didn't want him to know i'd seen it.

He'd tried to call me, too, but I ignored him. He finally got the memo after 36 missed calls and several more repeat texts of ' _answer the damn phone bitch, I know you're there'_.

But, of course, that wouldn't stop Brendon. Not at all. He turned up on my doorstep not minutes later and forced me out of bed.

"You're coming with me, bitch. I don't care if the world's going to end; I wouldn't let you spend your last night in bed, alone."

And I'd cried. I'd told him about Gerard. He knew. Of course he knew. And he understood, but he still forced me to shower, to get changed into something a little less _comfortable-at-home_  wear. 

And he dragged me to that party. Forced me to get drunk out of my mind and fuck knew what I did because honestly, that night was a bit of a blur.

*

What the fuck?

What the _fucking_ fuck?

I didn't need this shit. Not when I was sporting a raging fucking hangover from last night's events.

Everything was so obviously pounding inside me now. My head, my stomach and most of all, _my heart_.

I was right. I was fucking right not to trust him. Not to give myself to him like I had been so stupidly close to doing all over again.

I clutched at my foam cup of coffee so hard that the plastic lid popped off and the steaming liquid spilled and stained my gloves.

I yelped out loud from the hot pain in my hand, dropping my cup to the floor and causing a massive spill on the tarmac ground as I rounded the smoking shelter for my afternoon cigarette. After this display, I fucking well _needed_  one, or two. Maybe four. How's about an entire fucking packet _and_  another round of booze.

He did his shit on purpose. He fucking- he _knew_  I came here every lunchtime after eating with Brendon and we'd smoke until the bell rang and signalled lesson starting.

He fucking _knew_ and he did this on purpose the fucking-

He was looking at me. I hadn't realised but he was eating the face off that guy and his eyes were on _me_  now. He'd seen me. And Brendon had seen him.

Brendon clutched at my arm and winced. "Frankie, _shit_ , your hand. We should get you washed up. Come on, babe." He urged, trying to pull me away.

I was angry. So fucking angry at him. it was all coming back. I'd been ready to be civil with him today in lesson. To try and attempt to at least put aside our differences so we could get on with our work and if not become friends again, at least _acquaintances_.

He could fucking die in a ditch and eat shit for all I cared. 

Gerard was watching me, wide-eyed, as he pulled away from the guy and darted his eyes between me and Brendon. The fucker was so totally _faking_  surprise. I felt my hand fisting so tight and the image of punching him dead on the jaw came to mind.

It seemed Brendon could sense whatever the fuck I was feeling because he wrapped his arm around my waist and was dragging me away. I tore my eyes from Gerard, but not after sending him the biggest dirty look I could muster.

"Fucking- I _despise_  that bastard. Did you- fucking did you _see_ that?" I was rambling, my anger spurring me on as Brendon held my soiled glove under the hand dryer after having washed out as much of the coffee as he could.

My hand was pressed under the cold tap. If I hadn't have been wearing my gloves, i'm sure i'd have gotten a little more than a scald on my hand. But the cold was a nice relief from the hotness in my body right now from all the adrenaline pumping through it vigorously. I was in fight mode. I wanted to hit something. _Or rather, someone._

"Yeah. God, the _nerve_." Brendon sneered in agreement. "He knew. He definitely knew you'd be there but- I don't understand why he'd do something like that _just_ to spite you. What exactly happened on Saturday?"

"I already told you, B. He-he fucking led me on. He kissed me." And I kissed him back. "He wouldn't _stop_  kissing me and he- we sort of... I don't know. I thought maybe we could start over. I was so fucking wrong. Fuck him. I don't give a shit anymore. I'm not going to try. I'm not going to let him hurt me ever again." I looked at my livid reflection and watched my chest heave as I grit down on my teeth to stop from crying out. "I know we're not- you know. I _know_  that but, it still hurt, B." I felt my voice crack at the end and then Brendon was behind me, arms wrapped around my waist and head resting on my shoulder and I was brought back to Gerard's room again when i'd told him. I'd poured my innermost sentiments out to him and he'd used it against me.

He went and hurt me, without me even trying. No, it wasn't even that he had been kissing someone else, although i'd be lying if I said that didn't piss me off.

It was the fact that i'd opened myself up to him and he'd gone and done that on purpose and it just hit me all that much more, making my heart ache and my stomach burn and I felt like fucking shit. 

The door to the bathroom opened as I turned the tap off, deciding i'd had enough of it when I started shivering from the cold and felt my hand turning numb. Brendon made no move to let go of me and as soon as I looked into the mirror, I saw him.

Fuck's sake, he was _everywhere_  today. If he wasn't in front of me, he was in my fucking head.

What do I do? How do I get rid of him?

I'd have to kill him, that's how.

He looked as though he had been about to say something, but then I grabbed Brendon's arms for support, pulling them around me further and I dropped my gaze into the sink, tears burning at my eyes.

And then the door swung shut and he was gone.

What had he been about to do? Rub it in my face some more? Smug prick.

I let myself breathe and Brendon held me, whispering in my ear that it would be alright and the door swung open again. I swear, if he was back to-

"You both look so gay right now." Pete chuckled as he sauntered in, having got Brendon's text about where they'd disappeared to.

"Our baby's having a crisis of the heart, Petey dear. You're just jealous because I only reserve my hugs and kisses for my precious ones." Brendon leaned in and tickled my hair with his nose before pressing a sloppy kiss to my face and I giggled, shoving him away.

"Gross, B." I pouted as I wiped at my face with the back of my hand.

The bell rang and my heart stopped because i'd have to face _him_.

Then, Brendon's hand was slipping into mine.

I looked up at him and tried a smile as he interlocked out fingers. "I got you, babe." He winked at me as he pulled us out of the bathroom and towards class. I sucked in a deep breath as I stepped through the doors, my hand tightening in Brendon's hold. 

I didn't dare look in his direction, but I could _feel_  his penetrating gaze on me, lingering around me, pulling me to look at him but I forced myself not to.

I wasn't even going to bother sitting beside him today so I followed Brendon to our original seats and settled down, his hand still in mine and settled in his lap.

As soon as Turner walked in and noticed me beside Brendon, he walked over and gave me that impatient teacher look and crossed his arms over his chest as he cleared his throat.

I looked up at him through my lashes, face red and lips pulled into a small, sheepish smile.

"I don't recall assigning you to work with Brendon and Pete, Mr Iero."

"But, _sir_ , Frankie has a nervous disposition and if he-"

"That's quite enough, Brendon." He cut him off and his eyes fell to out intertwined hands. Turner sighed. "Jesus, it's just one lesson. I'm sure you and your boyfriend can give it a break for just a couple hours." Turner raised his brows.

"He's not-"

"Frank." Turner cut me off and I let out a frustrated huff.

"Please, I can't work with- with _him_." I couldn't even utter his name from my lips.

"Frank, I expected better from you. I really did. You're being a bully, right now. Put aside whatever differences you have and focus on your work." I went to protest again but he leaned down, hands on the desk.

"Frank, let me tell you something about the world; you're always going to come across people you don't like. Whether it be at work, in your personal life- whatever. What you will soon learn is that we all gotta suck it up and put all our shit aside if we want things to work on a professional level. That's what keeping a professional relationship is; putting aside personal differences to get shit done. Now, move."

Brendon's hand squeezed mine and I watched him from the corner of my eye as he furrowed his brows together and I shook my head at him, knowing he was going to get into an argument he would lose. 

Brendon sent me a reassuring smile and I nudged his shoe with my toe before sighing shakily and grabbing my bag to relocate myself angrily beside a hooded Gerard. Good. I didn't want to see his fat face.

I decided to make myself look busy so I pulled out my notebook, zoning everyone out. 

"Nice." Gerard murmured from beside me.

Okay, zoning everything _but_ him out. It was as though I was so painfully aware of his existence that no matter what I did, especially when I forced myself not to think about him, I ended up thinking about _only_  him.

I scowled and covered my page with my arm so he couldn't see what I was drawing.

"Zombie Hitler. Interesting concept. We could use him in the project as a sort of little Easter egg, leading the mindless revolution of zombie drones behind him. Like a sort of tribute to  _Dead Snow_. Or like, how the white walkers from Game of Thrones have that one leader. You watch that, right? I'm sure you do." Gerard mumbled, all certain, and I pretended to ignore him, eyes squeezing shut as he continued talking in my ear.

"Once a nerd, Frankie, always a nerd." Gerard muttered and I felt my face grow red in annoyance, especially because I could smell his breath and it smelled like he'd been smoking and now I was mad because I remembered _he_  was the reason i'd missed a smoke. Again.

It was getting harder to ignore him and I noticed Turner watching us every so often making rounds and lingering by our table.

He gave me that look again and I groaned in frustration.

Keep it professional.

I was practically an adult for fuck's sake and I guess I was acting childish, but it was all Gerard's fault.

For God's sake.

Professional, Fine. I could do professional.

I glanced over at what he was doing. Sketching out plans; none of them including my Nazi zombies.

"What about our tribute to _Dead Snow_ , or the white walkers from Game of Thrones?" I forced myself to say, voice trembling

I noticed Gerard's lips curve up as I watched him draw.

"Wasn't planning on doing it without you, since they're your thing." Gerard murmured, tongue sticking out as he concentrated while sketching. 

"Fine." I spoke and pressed my hands over his notebook, pulling it towards me but then Turner was shoving a giant spread of paper onto our desk.

"You work _together_." He stated and then left us to it.

I held in a frustrated groan. I leaned into my bag and pulled out a piece of gum, popping it in my mouth and chewing obnoxiously. People _always_  hated obnoxious chewers. Hey, he told me to be professional; didn't mean I wasn't allowed to chew gum.

I noticed Gerard sneer beside me and I held back a smug smile as I blew a bubble and popped it right near his ear.

"I'll start up top. Here's the panels." He showed me the notes he'd made in his notebook as to what was meant to go inside each panel he'd drawn. Without a word, and with another obnoxious bubble pop, I got to work, trying to ignore the fact that I had to lean near him to get where I wanted to.

"Don't forget to like, make them exaggeratedly emotive. Like, they need to look scary, but also dumb. And then the leader one- you gotta make him look like-"

"I know what i'm doing." I sent him an incredulous look. Did he think I was an idiot, for fuck's sake?

"Right, sure. Whatever. I was just saying-"

"Nothing. You were just _saying_  nothing. You don't tell me what to do, and I don't criticise your ridiculous colour scheme, which, by the way, is ridiculous."

Gerard furrowed his brows. "What's wrong with pastels?"

"For zombies, Gerard?" I looked at him, deadpan and Gerard shrugged. "It's more, darks and vibrant reds."

Gerard raised his brow at me. "Fuck that. It's predictable shit. And who would want to be predictable? Certainly not me. We're sticking with the pastels."

"But, it's gonna look stupid." I was growing impatient now. If I failed because of him, he was _so_ dead.

"Art is expression, Frank. I want to express pastels."

"Yeah, well I don't." I frowned and Gerard sighed.

"It seems we have come to an impasse, Frankie." Gerard crossed his arms over his chest.

"A what?" My frown deepened.

Gerard blinked at me. "Let's just compromise. I use the pastels-"

I went to protest but Gerard continued, a little louder.

"And you get to use your vibrant reds and shit on any blood splatters and smatterings of internal organs. Make them stand out from the rest or whatever. Happy?"

I nibbled my lip in thought. "What about this; the zombies are in pastels and the humans are in vibrant colours. Except for the infected guy. He's sort of a mix between the two. His skin is vibrant but his clothes are dull. To show the contrast between life and death. And then after the girl sleeps with him, she starts wearing dull, pastel clothes to show she's infected." Gerard regarded me with a strange look and I added on quickly with a mumble and a shrug, "Just a thought."

"I like your thinking, Frankie." Gerard mused. The rest of the lesson didn't go as bad as I thought it would. We worked in relative silence, occasionally piping up to ask for colours or swap ideas.

But as soon as lesson was over and I was packing my things, Gerard gripped my arm, stopping me from walking away. 

"Frank, I... Erh." He trailed off, blinking at me. 

"You what?" I blinked right back, trying to ignore the tingles that shot up my arm from where he had a hold of me.

Brendon appeared behind me, wrapping an arm around my shoulder before pressing a kiss to my temple. "You ready, babe?"

I felt a blush creep its way up my face at the way Gerard was staring at Brendon's arm around me.

"Yeah." I murmured and started letting Brendon pull me away but Gerard's hand was still on my arm and he tugged me toward him.

"Wait!" He spoke quickly and I turned to look at him, brows raised. He nibbled on his lip for a while. "Are we good, Frankie?" He finally asked.

I sucked in a sharp breath as I tried to avoid his intense gaze. He was looking right _through_  me, I swear. "Whatever." I feigned nonchalance.

"Are you coming over again? Saturday? Same time?" Gerard said hopefully.

"He's busy." Brendon cut in before I had a chance to respond.

"I'm sure Frank can speak for himself." Gerard ground out.

"I'm sure he can." Brendon responded and looked right at me, smiling brightly.

"I'm busy." I smirked and Gerard looked kind of pissed.

"I'll text you, then." Gerard continued and then I remembered that he still hadn't told me how he'd gotten my number. So I asked him.

He smirked at me, then, holding onto my arm a little tighter. "When you went to the bathroom last lesson and left your phone on the desk, I took the opportunity to take your number."

"You went through my _phone_?" I gasped and Gerard shrugged, his smirk growing. "That's really not cool, Gerard. It's an invasion of privacy." I elucidated.

"You wouldn't have given it if I asked." He spoke as though that was a good enough justification.

"Yeah- but. Don't, like, don't text me. Just cause we're working on this project together, doesn't mean we have to be, like,  _friends_." I spoke before I could second-guess myself. Having my friends with me was giving me a little more courage but I still had to tighten my fists to hide the fact they were trembling.

"Frank, please i'm sorry." His lips were down-turned and he blinked at me as though he was trying to hold back tears and I was overcome with a crushing guilt, for no reason. I had no reason to be guilty, fuck that.

"For what?" Brendon started.

Gerard furrowed his brows together, lip pulled up in annoyance. "Would you stop? I was talking to _Frank_."

Brendon's arm around me tightened and he glared at Gerard. "He clearly doesn't want to talk to you right now, sweetie." He smiled patronisingly.

"Listen here, _Brandon_ ," Oh boy... Things were getting heated now. I could feel the tension in the air. 

"It's _Brendon_." He corrected Gerard.

"Whatever. Your... boyfriend can speak for himself." Gerard murmured, annoyance filling his tone.

Pete snorted at that, reminding us that he was still here. "Boyfriends. They might as well be." He muttered.

Gerard looked momentarily taken aback and nibbled on his lower lip. What was he thinking?

Brendon cleared his throat obnoxiously. "We gotta go, honey." He slipped his hand down so he could tangle our fingers together.

Gerard looked as though he wanted to say something but Brendon was already pulling me out of the classroom and I kept my eyes trained on Gerard's face until I slipped out the door. He looked nervous, at least he _had_. It was replaced by something else. Something like hope.

*

I checked the time as I scrolled through my laptop looking for something to watch and pass the time. I'd done my homework, surprisingly, because I had nothing else to do and I didn't feel like leaving the house so I threw myself into it.

I sat cross-legged on my bed as I sighed deeply to myself. I needed a distraction.

Suddenly I felt my butt buzz and I squealed, jumping slightly.

Fuck, it was my phone. I had been half sat on it somehow and I felt the vibration all the way up my rectum, I swear to God.

I gripped my phone and unlocked the screen.

**Fuckface: Need to talk. Urgent.**

My heart hammered in my chest. There was only one person in my contacts that i'd given such a vulgar name. 

 **Fuckface: Please.**  

He added, with the praying hands emoji and a sad face. I gulped.

**Told you to delete my number.**

I replied.

**Fuckface: As I recall, you said don't text me.**

Smug prick.

**Same thing.**

**Fuckface: Frank, please. It's important. Life or death.**  

**??**

I prompted.

He started typing, but then he stopped. And started again. This went on a couple more times and I was about to throw my phone at the wall when I got the familiar buzz in my hands.

**Fuckface: Are you and Brendon, like, dating?**

I narrowed my eyes at my phone. What the fuck? I texted back, a little vigorous and annoyed.

**None of your business.**

Gerard took a while to reply, but when he did...

**Fuckface: It kinda is when you kissed me like that.**

I gasped out loud. "Oh no, he fucking _didn't_." I muttered.

**As I recall...**

I mocked him from earlier.

**_You_ kissed _me_.**

**Fuckface: You're right. But you kissed me too.**

Fuck, I grumbled. He was right.

**Fuckface: I'm sure Brendon wouldn't take too kindly to knowing his bf cheated on him, with a much hotter guy might I add.**

"What a fucking-" I was red-faced now. Even if Brendon and I _were_  dating, this was such a sleazeball thing to do.

**Are you threatening me?**

**Fuckface: What makes you think that? :)**

**Go tell him. idgaf.**

Why was I even getting worked up about this? It was so ridiculous. I didn't need this fake drama in my life. I let out a deep breath.

**Fuckface: Are u sure?**

**100%**

**Fuckface: So you're not dating.**

I groaned. Why was I even responding? I should just block his number, delete it. Delete  _him_  from my life.

**No shit.**

He was typing for a while.

**Fuckface: Can we talk pls?**

I frowned. 

**We are.**

**Fuckface: You know what I mean. I'm coming over in ten.**

Erh,

**No.**

I quickly typed out.

**Fuckface: Fine, come over in ten minutes. Or else.**

**Or else...?**

**Fuckface: Have you seen Mel's insta? There are some v incriminating pics your parents would just love to see.**

**What pictures?**

I typed, confused.

Then there was a picture message up on screen and once it had finished downloading, I felt a tremor down my spine.

So _that's_ what i'd gotten up to last night.

Apparently i'd been sloppily making out with Brendon again. That wasn't even news to me. It happened almost every time we got drunk together. So often in fact, that we just laughed it off now.

But that wasn't the image that had sent a tremor down my spine, not by a long shot.

There was another set of images. Where I was half-clothed and it looked as thought I was in the middle of giving Brendon a lap dance.

What the shit. Why hadn't anyone mentioned this to me?

**You wouldn't dare.**

**Fuckface: Like I said, meet me in ten or these will somehow appear in your letterbox where your parents happen upon it.**

I groaned. This was blackmail. This was fucking blackmail. What a- _Fuck_. I didn't even know whether I could put it past him, to be quite honest.

How did _he_  know about these pictures, but I didn't? What the fuck. Her account was on private, for God's sake!

I made a mental note to message Melanie to kindly take those pictures down.

**Fuckface: ...?**

I didn't reply. Instead, I hopped out of bed and threw on some skinnies before grabbing my hoodie and shrugging it over my shoulders.

"Where are you going, Frankie?" Mum called from the kitchen as she saw me headed to the front door.

"Gerard's." I told her, not seeing any point in lying.

"Oh." She smiled. "Well, i'm glad you've finally made up. Have fun, and don't be too late home." 

I ran over to give her a quick kiss goodbye and then speed walked out the door into Gerard's driveway. I knocked on the door at least fifteen times and rang the doorbell thrice before the door pulled open and this time, Gerard was there to greet me. He smirked at me, as though he knew he'd got me and I would have slapped it right off his face had he not gripped my arm and pulled me inside before shutting the door shut behind me as though I was going to change my mind and run away.

"You-" I breathed out, my finger pointed right at him. "You're a conniving little-"

"Frank?" Mr Way spoke from behind me.

"Oh, h-hi!" I gulped, face turning red. I'd been about to swear something horrid right in front of his face. That would not have gone down well.

"You missed lunch on Saturday. Gerard told me you weren't feeling too good." He sighed. "I'd tell you to stay tonight, but i'm afraid i'm off to work right now."

"Oh..." I blushed harder, embarrassed. "I'm sorry." I muttered, scuffing my shoe against the wooden floor but Donald laughed it off.

"It's alright. Next time, huh, kid?"

"Sure." I shoved my hands into my hoodie pockets and watched as he brushed past me, patting me awkwardly on the shoulder as he went.

"See you around, Frank." He smiled as he walked out the door.

I blinked at him as he shut the door behind him and Gerard gave me this weird look and I was filled with a terrible apprehension.

I was all alone with Gerard Way and I had no idea what he was concocting in that evil brain of his.

I glared at Gerard through narrowed eyes. "Delete those pictures."

"I just need you to know, Frank, that this was all a misunderstanding-"

"Delete. The. Pictures." I demanded and Gerard groaned.

"I promise, Frank. But I just need you to listen."

I folded my arms around myself. "I'm listening." I ground out.

Gerard moved closer, watching me warily and stopped a few feet ahead. "I'm sorry."

"You've already said that." I pointed out.

"I know, I just- I need you to know that I really _am_  sorry. I- I didn't... I thought you were with Brendon." He stated, as though that meant anything to me.

"Okay...? What the hell does that have to do with anything?" I countered.

"I- ou don't get it. You told me... Right before you left you told me that you didn't want me to hurt you... Again." He gulped, eyes aimed at the ground.

"Yeah." I stated, voice low and reverberating in the empty, quiet hallway.

"And... And I didn't want to hurt you. I _don't_  want to hurt you."

I watched him, a cold breeze coming from seemingly nowhere and making goosebumps rise all over my skin as he looked at me through his lashes.

"I thought you were moving on, or something. I saw the picture- the one where you were kissing Brendon. And I got it. I finally got it. I realised how you must have felt when I- when I hurt you. So I thought, _stupidly_ , I thought... Maybe I should do the same, too. But I wasn't thinking." He was so close now, his voice high pitched and desperate.

"I didn't mean it in a bad way. I thought it might make it easier on you if I tried to show you I was moving on too, but all I did was hurt you again. And i'm sorry. I'm sorry, Frankie. Forgive me, _please_. We don't- I just want you back. Even as a friend. I'll take you any way you'll have me. I swear, I won't fuck it up this time." Tears were brimming his eyes and I felt my heart crack as his voice broke with each word. "I promise." He was in front of me now, hands reaching up towards me, nervously. "If you give me a chance, I would never hurt you ever again. Not on purpose."

I don't know whether it was the way he was looking at me, so vulnerable and open, or the fact that I was so overwhelmed with emotion, but in that moment, I felt myself fall forward and capture his lips with my own.

I didn't know why I did it, but at the moment, it felt right. Like it was what I had to do.

I felt his arms instantly latch around my waist, pulling me close as my hands tangled in his soft hair. I groaned into his mouth when he nudged my lips open with his tongue and I complied instantly, parting my lips for him so he could massage his tongue over my own. 

This was so much better than last time. This time, there were no bad feelings between us. At least, I hoped not. I hope he understood that I had forgiven him. I needed him to know that fuck it, I wanted him and I didn't care anymore.

I kissed him back, tugging at his hair to pull him ever closer as he moaned into my mouth. I pushed him up against the wall, rolling my hips against his and he arched into me, letting me dry fuck him, feeling him firm up against my growing bulge.

I felt his leg wrap around me, knee pulled up to my hip as we rocked against each other and our mouths moved in dirty synchronicity.

" _I don't care, Gee_." I breathed, my eyes heavy lidded and pupils so blown. " _I want you to know that. I don't care and I want you right now. All I know is I want you, right. Now."_  I pushed against him, my hips pushing harder and he gasped aloud, whimpering.

"Y-you called me Gee." He whispered back. "You haven't said that in ah-a long time." He smiled before his head fell against the wall and he bit down on his lip, eyes closed.

"Yeah, well I don't think either of us is thinking very rationally right now." I pointed out, letting my lips wander down his neck like i'd imagined doing so many times. I tasted his skin between my teeth, nibbling and sucking and smiling when I heard him moan throatily and let out broken little whimpering  _fuck_ s.

I bit down harder, making sure I left a mark and he groaned, arching his neck for me.

"Let's take this to the bedroom, before I start overthinking." I murmured against his skin and apparently, he didn't need asking twice because he was suddenly pushing me away enough so he could grip my hand in his and pull me down to the basement.

We were stumbling and tripping over air as we went, in all our eagerness, giggling giddily, drunk off lust, until we pushed through his door. He kicked the door shut behind him as he tugged me against him by the strings of my hoodie and pressed our lips together in a heated battle.

I vaguely felt him push me down and I was falling backwards onto the bed, except this time i'd been expecting it. But this time, we were wearing too much clothing for my liking.

I watched him stand over me, as he pulled off his shirt and kicked off his pants. I did the same, tugging my hoodie off with my shirt, throwing it to the already messy floor and shuffling myself so my pants were kicked to the edge of the bed.

Gerard dropped himself over me, wasting no time, his hands pressed into the mattress either side of my hips as he let his eyes roam over my skin.

He leaned down, face pressed against my shoulder as he breathed me in, licking and nipping at my skin.

I couldn't control my erratic heart rate and my entire body was hot with a flush, yet goosebumps trickled over my exposed skin.

"Your skin is so perfect." His words were muffled against my chest as he kissed along it, down my middle and along my happy trail. I gasped and arched into him, hands tangled in his hair.

"Too bad i'm about to bruise it up." He reached my exposed hips and nipped at the skin, biting down hard and my hips jerked at the action because i'd never been kissed there before and i'd never even _thought_  about it, but now that it was happening, it was _everything_.

"Holy _fuck_." I gasped, tugging at his hair and pushing my hips against his lips as he sucked and nibbled hard. I could feel myself throbbing and I was pretty sure he could feel it too against his shoulders and chest where my hips were pushed up against him.

" _Jesus_ , Frankie." Gerard whimpered as he leaned down and pressed his nose against my boxer clad navel, the tip of his nose nudging at the hair poking through the hem of my boxers.

I gasped when he mouthed my straining dick, licking at it and grazing his lips and teeth and oh _fuck_  everything was burning inside me and my fingers tightened their hold on his hair and my hips pushed up against his face, my dick pressed against his nose and mouth and his hot breath on it was driving me _crazy_.

I let out choked whimpers, heat burning my face as I realised what the fuck I was doing. I used every last ounce of self-control I had and pulled myself away from him, letting him breathe.

" _Fucking hell_." Gerard gasped and I looked down at him sheepishly. He groaned at me as I bit on my lip and inched his lips down to my inner thigh, nudging my boxers with his nose. He pressed soft kisses against the skin and I felt my legs push apart of their own will when he bit down. I whimpered desperately, head thrown back as he bit down and sucked on the skin, leaving yet another mark. It was a weird feeling. It was painful, but at the same time, it felt so fucking good and my dick most certainly was not complaining. In fact, I was so close to begging him that i had to bite down on my lip.

I didn't have to, though, because soon enough, he had his teeth clamped around the hem of my boxers and he was tugging them down from my waist.

I lifted my hips, breathing hard and fast as he did so and letting out a soft whimper once he'd pulled my boxers down to mid-thigh, my hardened length on complete show for him now. I felt an overwhelming sense of self-consciousness. I couldn't bear to look at his face so I turned away.

Then I felt his fingers wrap around me, soft and tentative... But it wasn't what I wanted. I wanted _more_.

"You're already leaking, Frankie. Holy fucking... Oh _God_." He groaned and then I felt something hot and wet and warm against my tip and my hands gripped into his hair, even tighter as I looked down at him through heavy lidded eyes. My mouth parted as our eyes locked and he grinned at me as he darted his tongue out, pressing it into my slit and I cried out in absolute pleasure as he wrapped his lips around me and pressed down.

I could no longer feel my hands, my toes were curled into the sheets so tight, legs spread wide as he worked his mouth against me, sucking and hollowing his cheeks, swallowing around me when I hit the back of his throat and _fuck_  I couldn't hold it back. Not anymore. 

" _More, please. Faster... Daddy, fuck me with your mouth_!" I cried out as my hips jutted into his mouth and I felt him make a choked sound around me before he gathered his bearings and muffled sounds coming from his mouth vibrated down the sensitive bundle of nerves and I was crying from how fucking good it felt. Fuck, I was too far gone to even be embarrassed about what i'd said. I just-

 _"Fucking need you, daddy. Fuck. Fucking-_ " I groaned as he pulled his mouth off me completely and I looked down at him, whimpering and gasping and writhing because-

 _"Why did you stop? Feels so good."_ I groaned but Gerard was watching me, wide-eyed and open mouthed, saliva and pre-cum dripping from the corners of his mouth.

"What did you say?" He croaked out.

"Keep going." I whimpered, tugging at his hair but he shook his head, gulping as he crawled over to me, wiping at his mouth with the back of his hand.

His face was inches from mine. "What did you call me?" He urged, his hands pressed against my face, fingers combed through my hair. "Say it again, Frankie. _Fucking, say it again._ " He breathed into my ear and I felt his hand smooth down my stomach, fingers wrapping around my saliva-slicked length and thumb poised against my slit. " _Say it again and I promise, i'll make you feel so good._ " He breathed, his thumb smoothing soft circles around the slit, taunting me.

"D-" I gulped, " _Daddy_." I groaned and he pressed his thumb into the slit and my hands came up, fingers splayed out against the ripples in his back, fingernails digging into his skin as I bit down on my lip to keep from crying out.

"Oh _God yes._ " I cried as he pumped me with his tight fist and settled onto his knees so he could remove his boxers one-handed.

It took him a moment but he finally kicked out of them and then his hand slipped off me when he noticed how hard I was panting, how much I was leaking against his fist. He knew I was close already.

I blinked away my blurry vision and looked up at him. I gasped and my eyes widened when I saw his length, pink and curved and so _fucking big Jesus Christ_. Before I knew what I was even doing, I reached out and grasped his length, letting my fingernails graze over every rippled and vein and he trembled and leaked under my touch, whining low in his throat.

He gripped my wrist to stop my movements. "Say it again, Frankie." He gasped out, low and throaty. "Say it and i'm yours. Tell me what you want me to do, baby. Tell me and i'll do it."

I felt my cheeks burn heatedly as he looked down at me, his hazels all but taken up by the black of his pupils, black hair framing his eyes, strands slicked against his forehead with sweat, beads of sweat pearling along his chest and abdomen already, and we'd barely even started.

I felt my breathing pick up as he continued to watch me and with a burst of adrenaline and testosterone, I whimpered. "I want you to fuck me as hard as you can. Fucking _break me_. Make me fucking _scream_." He sucked in a sharp breath and I felt him throb beneath the pads of my fingers.

"Fuck, yes. _Yes, okay._ " He groaned and leaned over me. "Y-you're bleeding, Frankie." He breathed out, as though he had only just noticed. 

I was?

He pressed his fingers against my lip and I frowned in confusion when he drew them back and they were stained red.

I went to wipe it away but he swooped down and licked along my lower lip and jaw and I groaned when he leaned down and kissed me hard and deep, making me taste my own blood. It was erotic, especially when he pulled back and pressed his fingers between my parted lips. "Suck, baby." He told me and I immediately complied, wetting his fingers as much as I could, licking at them.

He was biting down on his lip and I noticed there was still blood on his finger but he didn't seem to pay it any mind as he leaned backward and settled himself between my parted legs.

"More, baby." He groaned. He looked straight at me, then. That look; the one where he was looking right fucking through me. "Spread your legs for daddy." He spoke low, his tone dangerous and throaty and _fuck it was so much better when he said it_.

I nodded, immediately spreading my legs until they could no further part. He leaned down and pressed a quick kiss to my inner thigh before poising the pads of his fingers at my entrance.

"Ready, baby?" He started and I nodded vigorously.

" _Fuck_... yeah." I groaned and then he was pushing in and I gasped, toes curling, muscles tensing and back arching as he pushed in with a finger, stretching me out. He moved slowly, carefully, and I bit down on my teeth, clenching my jaw and squeezing my eyes shut. "More." I managed to grind out from between my teeth and he was pushing in a second finger, stretching me as far as i'd go with them and then he was fucking me, pushing out then back in my back arched for him so he has better access.

And then he pushed in and curled his fingers, hitting against the bundle of nerves that sat inside my body.

" _Ah, more. Daddy, I need more._ " I gasped and Gerard curled his fingers again, his brows furrowed in concentration as he rubbed against my prostate and I jerked against his fingers, hips stuttering.

" _Please._ " I cried, tears threatening to spill from pure pleasure. _"That's enough. Need you inside me._ " I cried out and then his fingers were gone, the pressure easing and my back fell against the bed, toes uncurling.

I was gasping, panting for air, desperately breathless, hips rutting against nothing.

Then Gerard was leaning over to grab a few pillows, propping my ass up with them. He leaned over me, straddling me with his dick pressing against my stomach. "Tell me if it hurts, baby." He all but commanded and I nodded.

"Yeah- yes. Fuck, yes." I groaned and then he was spitting into his hand, slicking his length up with his pre-cum and saliva and I felt his blunt tip push against my entrance, his hand propping himself at the base of his dick before he pushed into me.

I grasped his shoulders, nails digging into his skin so hard that I was pretty sure I was leaving marks, but I didn't care because i'm pretty sure I was in more pain than he was right now.

" _Fuck- hurts, daddy. Hurts._ " I cried out, tears spilling from my cheeks and he was there, one hand gripping my thigh and the other caressing my face, wiping away the tears with his thumb.

"Sorry, baby, I'll go slow." He grit out, my body screaming at me to move but I stilled inside him, letting him adjust.

I nodded. "S-sorry. I just- overwhelmed." I ground out.

"It's okay baby, shh." He moaned as he adjusted himself to a better angle.

I nodded at him once i'd felt a little more adjusted. "Move, please." I whimpered and he gripped his hand into my hair, pushing in until he'd bottomed out, stretching me as far as I could go. I cried out, hands fisting into the sheets as he pulled back, slowly and it burned so much but I tried not to focus on that. I focused on the way he was tugging my hair, the muscles I could feel in his back, under my fingers, the soft hushed whispers he was emitting to console me through the pain.

I let him fuck me slowly, moving until I had adjusted, until it no longer hurt so bad and I relaxed a little more. My hands gripped his soft skin tight as he pushed into me and I cried out, my back arching as I felt the build up inside me to the inevitable pleasure. He moved against me with such precision, his cock rubbing against my tense muscles and loosening me out, stretching me. Then he thrust against me so perfectly, his back arched and sweat staining his porcelain skin as his blunt tip pushed against that perfect bundle of nerves and I was a quivering, trembling, moaning mess beneath him.

" _So good, sugar. So good for daddy._ " Gerard whined as he pushed against me, over and over, his rhythm slow and deep and I cried every time he hit tat spot.

" _More_." I heard myself crying. " _More! Fuck, so much more._ " I wrapped my legs around him, pushing him into me as far as he'd go and he gasped at the action. " _Harder, daddy. Fuck me harder._ " I moaned into his ear and I felt the bed dip as his hand slammed against the mattress, propping himself up with his forearms as he pulled back and then all but slammed into me, making me squeal from pleasure.

"Like that, sugar?" He croaked breathily and I could barely nod.

" _Yes. Oh, God yes!"_  I yelled, my back arched and hips thrusting to meet his rhythm. " _Fuck me faster, daddy. Harder. So much fucking harder, daddy."_ I cried out again and again, louder and louder as he fucked me hard and fast, just like I wanted, making my stomach pool and knot.

I whimpered as I pushed myself up against him, rubbing my hard cock against his stomach and instantly, his hand flew to wrap around me rubbing in time with him thrusts.

" _Is this good, sugar? Am I-ah-making you feel good_?"

" _So good, daddy_." I moaned. " _So fucking good._ "

He was going so fast, out bodies a tangled, sweaty blur and then I felt it, the intense cramp in my stomach, the extreme arch of my back, the tense of my muscles as I came hard and fast all over his fist and my torso. Everything was a white, hot blur and then I felt him cum inside me, filling me up so hard and deep. Too much. There was so much, it was overwhelming. We rode it out, together, his hand pumping me dry and his hips thrusting until the last squirt of his semen.

I never wanted it to end. It felt too good, but then everything went lax and I fell back, my muscles trembling from the aftermath. Everything was so sensitive, so wet and dirty and _fuck_  I had never felt so alive.

Gerard collapsed on top of me. I felt his cum leaking down my thigh, staining the sheets beneath us because there was too much of it for me to take. Far too much.

I let out a deep, shuddery breath and Gerard groaned as he pulled out, making me wince. He curled onto his side, head nestled against my shoulder. I could feel him smiling against my skin.

"Daddy." He giggled and if I had the energy, i'd have smacked him. But all I could do was blush, embarrassed.

"Fuck you." I muttered.

"You already did." He giggled again, all giddy, and I couldn't help but giggle right back, high off his love.

He pressed a kiss against my neck. "I just never would have guessed. I think it's really fucking hot. Jesus, you should have seen how hard I instantly got as soon as you said it." Gerard breathed sleepily.

"I did." I giggled again and we laughed together like stupid little schoolgirls until it died down and there was nothing but silence.

"Gerard?" I broke it first, tentative and shy.

"Yeah, Frankie?" He murmured.

My breathing picked up a notch and I was sure he could feel my heart hammering against him. "Please don't ever leave me." I whimpered and I felt Gerard's arm tighten around my waist, his leg hooking over my thighs.

"Never again." He kissed my skin over and over.

"Never ever." His voice was low and breathy and he nuzzled against me before fluttering his eyes shut. "I promise, Frankie." He breathed before I felt him lightly snore against me and it was as though my body needed that confirmation before it could let itself shut down for the night, too.

*

"Excellent presentation, Frank and Gerard." Turner clapped at us. "I knew you had it in you. This was just, brilliant. Well done." I turned to Gerard and he beamed down at me and I couldn't help my own grin that spread across my face. "The colour scheme; it's genius. And the whole nazi-zombie thing is so new age. I feel like you've captured the essence of _lust_. Like you learned it. Like we can see your journey through your art." I blushed hard as Gerard nudged my side.

We settled into our seats, Gerard's chair pulled close to mine so our thighs were touching and his hand settled itself on my thigh, just resting. Letting me know he was still there and he wasn't going anywhere. I placed my hand over his and let our fingers naturally intertwine as Turner called Brendon and Pete up for the final presentation.

"So, we had sloth and this is our presentation." They pulled up their page and-oh... Yikes.

"Holy fuck." I heard Gerard mutter beside me and I held back a giggle.

Their page was just a lazy collage of cutouts from magazines and sloppy, stick-men drawings littering the page. Jesus Christ, I didn't want to be the one to say it but...

"I can't believe he failed us. Can you believe that? Our idea was fucking ingenious. Fuck him, what does he know."

"I know right? He just needs to get that stick out of his ass."

"Oh, _I totally get it but like, this wasn't what I was asking for._ Like, fuck you man, I thought art was about expression."

"Hey, good lookin', you wanna get outta here?" Gerard murmured into my ear as Pete and Brendon rambled on about how they deserved better grades.

"Fuck yeah." My lips curved into a half smile and our hands intertwined as we crossed the street, running from their incessant babbling to God knew where. 

"Come back! Guys! We haven't even got to the part about how we're gonna prank him so hard" I- Oh God. Fine. Go fuck. See if I care." Brendon cried out and there was an old lady across the road who gave him a terrible look and waved her cane about, yelling something about 'youths these days.'

Brendon stuck his finger up at her. "Go fuck yourself with that cane, old lady. It's a free country."

She looked as though she was on the verge of having a stroke but Gerard and I never stuck around long enough to see how it ended.

*********

 


End file.
